THE PERSISTENTLY NONSENSICAL BLOG

Occupy SMU Library

2011-11-15T16:45:00.001+08:00

While the 99% in New York is hogging Zucotti Park and surrounding areas, the 99% of arsehole students are hogging the study carrels at the SMU Library. Following two BBC reports that the Occupy Wall Street protest has been cleared (15 Nov & 16 Nov 2011), I wish the same could be said about the Occupy SMU Library movement currently happening at the study carrels.

Original Occupy Wall Street poster says "What is our one demand? #Occupy Wall Street, September 17th. Bring tent."

The BBC (15 Nov) reports:

The New York Times said that as the operation in Zuccotti Park began at about 01:00 (06:00 GMT), police gave an announcement, saying: "The city has determined that the continued occupation of Zuccotti Park poses an increasing health and fire safety hazard."

Meanwhile in Occupy SMU Library, which began since Week 1 Term 1 AY2011/2012, the Library has reminded students not to hog seats. They even put a CCTV shot of the culprits.

"Hogs sighted in the library. Cull them on sight"

Hogs
Hogs have been camping out at the study carrels. So we should eliminate them. And I'm an angry bird. They call me Big Eagle.

Hogs are hogging that hill

Orders to vacate the area
(15 Nov)

Occupants were told to "immediately remove all private property" and that they would be arrested if they interfered with the operation, said the notice. Any belongings left behind would be put into storage.

In Occupy SMU Library, messages and notes were placed by other students on the tables of hogs (yes, hogs. The animal) saying CLEAR YOUR STUFF WHEN YOU ARE AWAY. Acting on their stern notice, several students have chucked aside belongings.

Eh, with the shortage, people may just use that table to study.

Resistance to law enforcement
(15 Nov)

Protesters were discussing regrouping at other sites including City Hall and Foley Park in lower Manhattan, and believe the manner of the clearance will only amplify their message, our correspondent adds.

Likewise in Occupy SMU Library, hogs emerged at other tables like moles popping out of the ground. They believe that continued resistance towards cultured and well-mannered use of the library will only amplify their message. Despite being personally told off by several students, they 'act blur look stim' and ignored us.

This is actually the second note I've written.

Raising it up to authorities
(15 Nov)

The city authorities and Mayor Michael Bloomberg have come under pressure from local businesses to shut down the camp, which has numbered about 200 occupants as it nears its two-month anniversary.

The ban on camping equipment will effectively put an end to people sleeping in the park, says our correspondent.

The library and the students' association have come under pressure students (such as yours truly) to curb this behaviour, which has numbered about 1.3 billion hogs as it nears the exam period. The ban on hogging will hopefully put an end to students hogging the study carrels. However, this effect has not been achieved.

Resurgence
(15 Nov)

However plans were already in place for an escalation of the protest on Thursday, marking the two-month anniversary, with a street carnival descenind [sic] on Wall Street in an attempt to shut it down.

However, plans to ratchet up the intensity of hogging has already taken place. Hogs now bring EXTRA bags and books to litter their reserved table so that other students would find it difficult to clear and would just leave the table alone.

Challenge accepted.

They are rightfully entitled to their personal bookshelf coz they paid school fees, while the rest of us didn't.

Sympathisers
(15 Nov)

Oakland police had said they sympathised with the protesters' cause, but urged them to "leave peacefully, with your heads held high, so we can get police officers back to work fighting crime in Oakland neighbourhoods".

Upon seeing other students desperately searching for a place to study, yours truly have told them that they are entitled and empowered to chuck the hogs' stuff away. However, some students sympathised with the hogs, and said they will just look for another place to study.

Freedom to hog?
(16 Nov)

At the New York Supreme Court, Justice Michael Stallman denied a motion brought by lawyers for the protesters, saying that rights guaranteed under the first amendment to the US constitution do not entitle them to camp out indefinitely in the plaza....Speaking after the judgement, New York's mayor said the rights of non-protesters were as important as the rights of those wanting to stay in the park. "The court's ruling vindicates our position that First Amendment rights do not include the right to endanger the public or infringe on the rights of others by taking over a public space with tents and tarps," Michael Bloomberg said in a statement.

As for the Occupy SMU Library, paying school fees does not entitle students to camp out indefinitely in the study carrels. The rights of other students who want to study are just as important as the hogs. Rights accrued by paying school fees do no include the right to deprive other students of a place to study by reserving study carrels with books and bags.

Citizen journalism
(15 Nov)

Are you in New York? Were you part of the protest camp? Send your comments to the BBC using the form below.

Are you in SMU Library? Are you a hog? If yes, CLEAR YOUR STUFF AWAY, you inconsiderate prick. Otherwise, I would oblige you. And I will tell (and have told) people to just chuck your stuff away.

Are you a sympathiser? WHY!

Were you part of the students desperately looking for a place to study? Send your comments to the 84percent using the comment section below.

==
As mentioned above, I emailed the library and the students' association 3 times, and even spoke to the president of the students' association. I note the shortcomings that they face, and in no way am I disparaging them. I am pro-establishment and don't blame any and all societal problems on authorities.

Indeed, their hands are tied due to legitimacy and resource issues. So, I hope that students ourselves would tell those hogs to clear their stuff when they are away by leaving notes, or just confronting them upfront.

IF YOU NEED A TABLE, CLEAR AWAY THE HOGS' STUFF.

Self-regulation FTW.

4 Levels of Excuses to Pangseh

2011-08-30T12:00:00.002+08:00

Based on genuine empirical studies on two live subjects.

Pangseh. Sometimes abbreviated as "ps"
Definition from talkingcock.com

"Pang Seh" is a Hokkien term which literally means "To Abandon". It is used to describe being stood up. A Pang Seh King is thus someone who habitually does not turn up for appointments.
1. "Wah lau, damn shy, man. Ah Lian on her wedding day kena pang seh by her husband."
2. "Wah lau, he damn pang seh king one, you still ask him to come for what?"

I found this from Google Images. A man died after being pangsehed.

Pangsehing is a common occurrence amongst friends of varying degrees, whether acquaintances or even close friends. This real-life empirical study will help the uninitiated get out of social appointments by learning from the experts in this field. I believe that these ideas should be shared, for Sir Isaac Newton proclaims, ‘If I have seen further than others it is because I have stood upon the shoulders of giants.’

Level 1 Excuse
The lowest of the excuses in terms of quality, this class of excuses consist of reasons that a primary school kid can think of. This is simply an adaptation of the famous adage, "The dog ate my homework."

Breaking down the sentence into its components, we can see the sentence structure is made as such:

[NOUN] + [VERB in past tense] + [REFERENCE TO SELF, usually a possessive adjective ] + [SOMETHING IMPORTANT]

This is followed by the conclusion that they cannot be present.

Illustration 1
A car [NOUN] knocked [VERB in past tense] my [REFERENCE TO SELF] homework [SOMETHING IMPORTANT]. Therefore, I can't join you guys.

Illustration 2
The chihuahua licked my external hard drive. Therefore, I can't join you guys.

Illustration 3
A memo appeared on my email. Therefore, I can't join you guys.

Of course, these illustrations are not meant to be exhaustive. It serves to highlight the simplicity of the excuses - the structure of the excuse is elementary at best, but the subject matter differs according to age.

Illustration 1 is probably made by a primary school kid, considering the importance he places on homework. Illustration 2 is probably from a secondary or JC kid who found the wonders of the external hard disk in sharing TV shows, movies, and music. Illustration 3 is probably from a university student at internship.

Advice:
Avoid these excuses at once. Unless you supplement it with the following Level 2 Excuse...

Level 2 Excuse
This advice is actually exploiting the effects of the Level 1 class of excuse. As mentioned above, it is only elementary at best - people can see through the excuse and would even think, "C'mon, you can come up with a better lie". You can turn the tables around and use this to your advantage by retorting that "Precisely because it is so lame that I would not use it as a lie."

Illustration
Desulyn-san: Konichiwa… A cat shat on my Louis Vuitton
Ah Neh: That's such a lame excuse….
Desulyn-san: Are you insulting my intelligence? Do you think I would give you such a lame excuse, considering how witty I am?

Oh shit, what a lame excuse.

Advice:
Remember to follow through with the lie. If you say your cat shat on your Louis Vuitton, don't be seen carrying a clean Louis Vuitton - unless you are too atas and have several bags I guess...

Level 3 Excuse
The class of excuses are a valiant attempt at providing a serious reason to absent oneself from a gathering, guising as a valid reason that appeals to the inquirer's emotions or rationality. This may resemble a Level 1 Excuse, but the differences lie in (1) showing that you are already on your way to the appointment; and (2) attempting to appeal to your emotion and rationality.

Illustration 1
"I already planned by day according to this gathering, but when I found out that Person X is going, I decided not to. I do not like to be in the presence of people who are fake. I know you guys would like me there, but I am living up to my principle"

Illustration 2
"I already dressed up and all ready to leave my house, but then I heard my cat coughing. I went to check and found out that he swallowed a hairball! I had to bring him to the vet."

Illustration 3
"I was already at the MRT gantry but when I reached my pocket to grab my wallet, I realised it wasn't there. So I had to backtrack to find it. You guys go ahead. Have fun without me!"

The author would like to add that he nearly had to utilise Illustration 3 before. Fortunately, he was saved by other genuine intervening reasons (or really???).

Advice:
Keep the excuse within the bounds of your character. For instance, if you are someone who enjoys meeting new people, it would be unusual to say you dislike being in the presence of someone fake.

Level 4 Excuse
This excuse is truly ingenious. The author commends the inventor of this excuse for achieving this level. One must appreciate the evolution of excuses that led to the inventor inventing this reason. The inventor is known to be a serial pangseh, such that no subsequent plans were ever made factoring her in our plans (Oops, did I say 'her'?). Anyway, the inventor had exhausted all reasons in Levels 1 through 3 (eventhough they're not meant to be exhaustive). Having been made fun off for three years, the inventor was pushed to the corner, forced to come up with new reasons. As Plato said, "Necessity is the mother of inventions", this inventor overcame the challenge and came up with this new class of excuse.

I illustrate by way of a real-life excuse:

"Hey, I'm sorry I can't join you guys today. But we'll meet one to one next time k, and drinks is on me!"

Can you appreciate the quality of that excuse? It's truly beautiful… Amazing…

Analysing the excuse, we find the following structure:

[APOLOGY] + [PROMISE OF MEETING UP AT A MORE PERSONAL SETTING] + [FUTURE COMPENSATION]

I'm sorry I can't make it today. Let's eat this apple together tomorrow!

The person shows regret for not being able to join you, and then shows that they are still indeed very interested to meet up and so suggests an appointment for a future time. To make things better, they even incentivise you to meet up! But most importantly, you don't need to dispense with any reason! Notice how the excuse focuses your attention to the future, drawing your attention away from the failure of the current appointment.

Illustration 1
"Hey, apologies can't make it tonight. Next week I bring you there, bring you eat lamp chop"

Illustration 2
"Paiseh, today cannot siol… Friday we go Changi Village, I treat you zhi cha"

Illustration 3
"Hey guys… I'm so sorry about later. Nvm, tomorrow you in school? Buy you beer at Molley's tomorrow"

Advice:
Actually suggest a feasible timing in future, and a reasonably-priced compensation. Anything more than a week seems too speculative and forgettable. Anything cheap shows lack of seriousness, and too expensive just appears like a political candidate trying to win your vote.

Zhng my bike

2011-08-03T01:41:00.001+08:00

My landlord is nice enough to let me use his bicycle. Since he hasn't used it for years, I decided to zhng it up using my own money (since I'll be the only one using it anyways).

So this is how my bike looked at first.

It even has a seat for Pedobear at the back!

I decided that since I've finally grown up, I should zhng my bicycle to be fit for an uncle.

What are my uncle needs?

Cycle to nearby wantan mee stall. I need my wantan mee + coffee every morning. Mm-mm-mmmhm
Buy groceries and cycle back - osteoporosis is kicking in. And laziness.

So, being new to this area, I didn't know where to find a bicycle shop nearby. So I googled "Pedra Branca bicycle shop" and I found several shops nearby. I decided to window shop. Spent about 3 hours cycling to 3 shops back and forth comparing prices coz SGD1 = RM2.45 which is A LOT. I guess these days I have to pick up coins I find on the floor, and can't donate much... Freaking exchange rate.

In other news, do contribute to the Help Paul Fund.

Anyways, so I bought some accessories to zhng my bike.

First, the bell. Dayyumn, I love this bell! So cute! I can choose to remove the sticker, but NO the sticker is too damned cute I'm going to leave it there!

Awww... Paul <3 his bike... how sweet

Next, the basket to keep my barang-barang from supermarket.

Third, I zhng the brake pads. Previous brake pads damn scary, can skid like 3m before coming to a halt. Also bought new tyres coz the inner tube burst.

I haven't bought the blinking light thingies for night cycling yet.

But thus far, this is how my bike looks after zhng-ing it! My Harley Davidson.

Unfortunately, this is not the 'Davidson' that I want (CRYPTIC!!!)

Am going to start my neighbourhood Bicycle Mat Rempit! Because cycling is so fun, the next logical thing to do is to start doing bicycle stunts.

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3 Reasons Why Living Alone Is Scary

2011-06-25T00:11:00.002+08:00

I've been renting a room alone for the past year, and will be doing so for the coming academic year. And will continue doing so until I settle down. I prefer staying alone, renting an apartment with complete strangers instead of living with friends coz of our differing preferences and life plans.

No, that's not me. I googled "living alone" and found this image.

But the tradeoff is that I live with complete strangers who don't care about me (and likewise me them). We care inasmuch as not slamming our doors, blasting music so loud, washing our plates, don't clog up the toilet bowl, and don't moo daeng each other. I guess we're cool with each other like that.

Still, in times of need, who am I going to turn to? My friends, even the closest, I hope, would come to my rescue IF AND ONLY IF they knew that something even happened to me at the first place.

If I don't return my messages, it could only mean that I am still sleeping, or ignoring them (which I do a lot, sorry), but rarely would anyone think that misfortune befell their friends. Likewise, me them. It's not a good thought to begin to suspect that your friends got Human Centipeded, got moo daeng-ed, or fell ill.

Here are my 3 greatest fears of living alone.

#1 I might be captured and turned into a Human Centipede
This thought was triggered when I had a nightmare that I was about to be turned into a Human Centipede. Not to worry, in that dream I fought the sick doctor and stabbed his brains using a scalpel through his eye sockets. When I woke up from the dream, I thought I saw the sick doctor looking at me from the corner of my room.

To date, we still do not understand the psyche of those 4 male law students who voluntarily simulated a Human Centipede.

Still, it was a good dream.

#2 Moo daeng

My mum asked me to watch the Thai horror/thriller movie "Meat Grinder" about a stall owner who kills humans and uses their meat for their noodles. Thanks Momma Yap! Love you for putting this idea into my head.

"Sir, here's your MOO DAENG NOODLES with BRATWURST (if you know what I mean keekee)!"

Someone could just kidnap me and chop me into pieces and make moo daeng out of me.

#3 Needa settle everything myself if I'm sick

On a serious note, this is really the shittiest reason to live alone. When I'm sick, I have to walk to the nearby food court, dar pao the porridge, walk back, eat alone, wash up, and uhm just continue being sick.

This post is not a call for help. I've been sick several times and it's nice to know that there are people who are willing to help. But everyone else has their lives to attend to. Momma Yap always says "If you're sick, I will come down ASAP" but it's really not practical coz by the time she settles her trip down to Singapore, I would've recovered already.

Also it's because I have Panadol in my room. Panadol > mother coming down to pamper me.

==
On a side note, why do some guys like to Alpha Male each other? And why do some girls like to Alpha Bitch each other too?

"You coward chicken shit"

2011-05-20T10:37:00.003+08:00

Memoirs of a foreigner who did not serve in Singapore's National Service.

With the whole 2011 General Elections hoohaa about foreigners being a source of Singapore's problems, some opposition supporters got a bit carried away. In no way am I discussing the merits of certain opposition parties' manifesto. I am highlighting how xenophobic some Singaporeans can be, and how I was personally verbally attacked by a Singaporean adult. Let's just call him Mr X.

Mr X once came up to me and asked, "Do you know my background?"

This Mr X was open about his political alignment. As a proud supporter of the opposition in Aljunied, he championed the Worker's Party manifesto. Many people do, and I respect their views although I might not necessarily agree with it. I did have several fruitful discussions with opposition supporters on their political stand. Despite knowing that their stand could necessarily have implications on foreigners in future, we still managed to have a fruitful discussion. Knowing full well that I am a foreigner, they did not make offensive personal remarks against the likes of me.

You would least expect a law graduate, much less an adult, to have utter disregard for civility in political discourse.

Mr X confronted me one day, demanding to know why I don't wanna serve NS. He then proceeded to call me a "coward" and "chicken shit" for not wanting to serve NS. He said foreigners are here just to take Singaporeans' money, and that we don't care about Singapore and should leave the country.

"You coward chicken shit"

I immediately told him off. I told him that he should listen to the nonsense he's spouting, and that I felt ashamed and embarrassed for him, a full grown educated adult talking to a young person in this manner.

Interesting character, Mr X is.

Despite this, I do not regard Singaporeans any differently. I am grateful for the friends and their families who have helped me all these years - be it inviting over for dinner, offering a place to stay, or just simply seeing me as a friend and not a foreigner.

In all this, Mr X never once bothered to listen to my views and understand where I'm coming from. He seemed more interested in insulting foreigners more than anything.

At this moment, here's why I don't serve NS.

#1 There is nothing requiring me to serve NS

I am a full-fledged foreigner in Singapore. I hold the Malaysian passport, with the student pass. I am paying foreigner's fees, renting a room on my own, agreeing to serve the 3-year bond in return for my education subsidy.

The law doesn't require a foreigner to serve NS. Until that day comes, I will not voluntarily apply for PR-ship and serve 2 years of NS. I could also still choose to maintain my foreigner status in Singapore while living and working here, and it is perfectly legal. There is nothing wrong with a foreigner wishing to maintain his foreigner status, and not being eligible for subsidies and whatnot. Several of my Malaysian seniors are doing just that, and they are living in Singapore, loving it more than their own homecountry.

On Singapore's terms, I am serving my part of the bargain. If anyone has dissatisfaction with the amount of subsidy that foreign students are receiving, the proper channel for feedback is whatever feedback channels you have (I don't know - not my country what...), and not to tell it straight up to foreigners. Sure, there are valid concerns. But the hell can we do about it???

#2 My family is not in Singapore

My entire family is in Kuala Lumpur. I am living here alone. There are 3 implications.

First, I would be committing too much to a foreign country. At this young age, why should I entrench myself in Singapore? I will still serve the 3 year obligation period from my education subsidy. After that, I still intend to live in Singapore in future, but it still only remain as tentative plans. It's really too soon to commit to anything at my age. Some people ask "Oh look at the WP candidate who voluntarily served NS". I ask, "Wasn't his family here with him in Singapore?".

(Also, I notice an irony. On the one hand, some Singaporeans send their kids overseas under full-foreigner status, with no plans of remaining there. On the other hand, they expect foreigners to commit and remain in Singapore at such a young age)

Second, don't you think that if ever Malaysia and Singapore goes to war, I sure as hell would not want fight for Singapore. Why would I help the army that could potentially risk the lives of my family? It's even worse for those Johor boys who served NS - the first place Singapore would attack would be JB. The hell the JB boys wanna fight for Singapore?!?!?! This is something many Singaporean guys can relate to. When I ask them why would they bear arms, they said it's mostly for their family. If their family migrated overseas, there would be less motivation to fight for the country.

In fact, we foreigners probably be rounded up in concentration camps, like them Japs were back in California after the Pearl Harbour bombing. But sure, Singapore and Malaysia would never go to war so this isn't about family security anymore. I then move to my third point.

Singapore and Malaysia are so close, the plane doesn't even move on the world map on the flight from KL to Changi.

Thirdly, I am renting a room alone in Singapore. If I were to serve NS, where would I go when I book out? Mr X remarked, "Just rent a room for yourself for the weekends then". Seriously, dude? Spend $700 a month just to get a bed for 1 or 2 nights over the weekend? Are you listening to yourself? Of course there are some foreigners who stay in camp. I applaud them. But that's because they need the PR status.

==
I didn't serve NS. I probably never will. As long it is not required under law, I will not do it and remain a full-fledged foreigner.

You can sulk all you want for serving those 2 years. Life is unfair like that. There is a whole lot of things that foreigners have to experience in a foreign land, and many of us are filling that end of the bargain fairly.

Some Singaporeans should put themselves in the shoes of a foreigner, appreciate the circumstances we are in, before demanding that we serve NS should we wish to live here. Given that my family is not in Singapore, that the law does not require me to do NS, that I don't need PR-ship, does it make sense to do NS voluntarily? In a simple poll I did on my Singaporean friends, all said 'No'.

I spent the past 11 years in Singapore. I practically grew up here. I am very fond of Singapore. I often dream that my family is here with me in Singapore. Just the other day, I was trolling this Malaysian teenager on Facebook for taking jabs at Singapore. He called Singapore 'Lousypore' because 'lousypore has to drink recycled shit water.. pity them..'. I took the liberty to troll him for the entire day coz of his anti-Singapore remarks.

I now turn to a related issue.

Are foreign men any less a man for not serving NS?

I might not know how to use your SAR 21 variants. But I can shoot a pistol better than you.

On a side note, it is unfair to tell a foreigner that he is any less a man for not knowing how to operate a rifle, sing army songs, or understand military communications. It's just taking cheap shots. We simply didn't get the training you did (because we are not required to - see above). I have 2 Singaporean male friends who constantly rub it in that I did not serve NS. So one day in Thailand, we went to a shooting range. We shot a few pistol rounds. 1 of the Singaporean missed several shots. So much for arms training at NS.

Sure, maybe you didn't train with handguns. Still, a Malaysian CIVILIAN got good shots, while you MISSED?!?!?! Something wrong there, right?

Then, when asked to guess which target belongs to the Malaysian, a Singaporean girl chose the one with the worst aim. Turned out the Malaysian CIVILIAN had several headshots, with all shots on target. The target with the worse aim belonged to a Singaporean. It's a pity that a Malaysian CIVILIAN has a better aim then some military-trained Singaporeans.

On another occasion, 3 Singaporean men attempted to climb Mount Kinabalu with a Malaysian. The Malaysian scaled down the mountain effortlessly, even sprinting the final stretch, reaching the end point ahead of the Singaporeans who throughout the trip kept harping on the fact that the Malaysian did not serve NS and is therefore weak. One of the Singaporeans needed 2 walking sticks, and took 1.5 hours longer to reach the bottom.

Singaporeans, don't look down on foreign men merely for the fact that we didn't do NS. If you wanna look down on us, at least find a proper ground to do so, please ;D Don't use the NS card to establish dominance over foreign men. Eh, got this one Malaysian CIVILIAN can shoot pistol better than your military-trained men. Don't challenge this Malaysian in a mountain - he'd headshot you and sprint up and down the mountain faster than you!

And for cow's sake, just because you were stationed at an airbase during NS doesn't mean you flew a plane.

2 ways to know you're not delusional

2011-05-17T00:31:00.002+08:00

I recently had a very disturbing conversation with my friend... or to be precise, a 'friend'. I could very well be hallucinating a lot of events and people in my life.

Before I proceed, this is NOT some emo nutcase post, that because of certain events in my life, I have turned into an emo nutcase, unlike some fucking asshole who spread that I started smoking after falling into depression - I do not smoke, and I was never depressed. Fuck you, asshole who spread this rumour. No surprises why I treat you this way.

I was having dinner with a friend one night. I decided to stir some shit by convincing him that his girlfriend is an imaginary person coz I've never seen her before. Also, that she is actually a female manifestation of this other close friend of his. So he actually loves this guy friend, and when he is dating his girlfriend, he's actually snuggling it out with this guy, perceiving that he is a girl.

Even he was convinced that it could be true!

Imagine a guy thinks he's hugging a girl and stuff, then he receives a text message from the girl asking "Why haven't you reply my SMS for so long?". And then he wonders, "Am I not snuggling with this girl?" He looks up and sees a hairy Indian man in front of him, lips pursed to receive a kiss.

***cue Black Swan music "Perfection"***

YUCK!

Faggots!

...but then, an incidental question arose. How do I know that the friend I'm having this conversation with is real? How do I know I'm not delusional? I could just have been sitting there eating alone and talking to thin air!

I think I'm sitting with somebody...

But I'm actually sitting alone...

Freaky.

The subconscious is powerful enough to maintain and utilize random pieces of information to create an elaborate perceived reality for your mind. Think Fight Club.

So, after convincing myself that I could be delusional, I've thought of 2 tests to determine it.

#1 Find memories that you would never know but for that alleged imaginary friend. This could indicate that your friend is real

Recall any place that you would not find by yourself, but only if that imaginary friend brought you there. Recall any piece of information that you would not know by yourself, like some random case or a point of law in an area of law that you have never read before, which your imaginary friend told you. The fact that you know these things which you by yourself would not discover is indicative that your imaginary friend is indeed real.

E.g. my imaginary friend once brought me to a random mamak stall in a random HDB estate. Since our walk there was direct and purposive, not one of random adventure bashing through the HDB estate, it is a strong indication that my imaginary friend is indeed a real person.

No way my subconscious can navigate through that to find a particular mamak stall.

#2 In doubt, bring your imaginary friend to gatherings with other friends.

If you have a friend that only you know of, you may find yourself squarely in the delusional category. You may dispel this by introducing your imaginary friend to a group of friends. If you are not delusional, then the group would indeed see your friend. If you are delusional, it is highly likely that someone in the group would tell you that you are a nutcase. The bigger the group, the better.

This is probably why someone put his girlfriend on the phone, just to show to others that she exists and can speak fluent English.

This is however contingent on the fact that you do have other friends who are real too...

My 'girlfriend' says she doesn't like you, dude.

==
Okay, gtg. Next blog post will be about my nightmare that I was nearly a HUMAN CENTIPEDE! In the meanwhile, the guy in the mirror is waving and smiling at me. Will go chat with him.

2 Weapons to Fight A Zombie

2011-02-26T21:13:00.000+08:00

Here's to taking a break from completing 2 law research papers in 4 weeks, with a third coming up.

==
A new zombie videogame 'Dead Island' is coming out soon. In what was predominantly an emotionless genre, the zombie genre has slowly began to take the turn on emotional play: The Walking Dead cf. Left 4 Dead, 28 Weeks Later.

Sad... The poor parents, tried to save their little girl who got bitten, turned out the little girl turns into a zombie and bites the dad, while the wife gets owned by a bunch of zombies.

In a zombie apocalypse, how can one protect oneself from a horde of zombies? I thought of 2 cool tools to kill time while you await the army to come wipe the zombies out. Notice I didn't say 'kill zombies' coz they're already dead...

Also, this would only apply to the slow moving zombies, not the fast run like hell Usain Bolt zombies.

#1 STEAM IRON

This idea was taken from a real dream I had.

Especially in Asian countries where grille doors and fences imprison ourselves within our own homes, it serves as a very good cordon against them slow zombies. Imagine them slow zombies sticking their arms through the grille or fence, trying to grab hold of you. But of course all you needa do is take a few steps back and make funny faces at them. So, what should you do while you kill time waiting for the army to eradicate them?

Take a steam iron and burn their arms!

How would you like your human meat done? Well done, medium, or rotten?

So yeah, if you're a man you can be Iron Man...

"I wear my uber cool war suit, but I use a steam iron to burn them zombie arms for the fun of it"

...and if you're a woman you can be Iron Woman.

"I'm hotter than the steaming iron!"

#2 BAG OVER THEM HEADS

The main thing that zombies are looking for is food. And they also spread their zombie shit disease by biting. One simple solution is to simply prevent them from using them mouths...

...better still, blind them! So not only that they can't bite, they also can't even see their food!

Killings 2 birds with 1 stone.

Grab a gunny sack and some rope. When them slow zombies come at you, just cover their heads and tie the gunny sack in a dead knot. To add to the fun, you may draw smileys on them gunny sacks!

Wikileaks reveals the identity of Santa Claus & Tooth Fairy

2010-12-25T02:32:00.001+08:00

Hackers submitted to Wikileaks sensitive information pertaining the identity of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Their modus operandi was spying on parents every night (is that legal to begin with?). But of course, in the spirit of keeping governments open, who cares that our sources must be legal when illegal activites are conducted by the governments anyway... C'mon, who are we kidding, right?

So why do this? Simple. How can we trust our parents, some of whom work for the government, when they can't even tell their kids the truth? It starts from home.

===
PARENTS DIARY

Throughout our childhood lives, we were led to believe that Santa Claus really exists, while the Tooth Fairy is actually our parents putting money under our pillow. This conspiracy must be put to an end. We believe this needs to change.

LEAK #1: Santa Claus' real identity

"Luke, I am not your father"

Source: Wikileak stalke... I mean, Professional Private Investigator
Date: 24 December 2002
Location: Undisclosed neighbourhood in the USA

Audio log start
2351hrs: Approaching target. Target in sight. Mounting night vision stalke.. I mean telescope. Scouting the dark skies over this neighbourhood for a man in red and reindeers. In the meanwhile, I shall just take a little peek at that family.

2352hrs: I see the kid's bedroom lights turned off. Father and mother walk into the hallway. Approaching staircase. Walks down.

2354hrs: Still no sign of Santa Claus in the sky.

2356hrs: Mother enters store room. Takes out a black bag. Sets it by the Christmas tree. Father joins her.

2358hrs: Still no sign of Santa Claus. Hmph.. maybe he's busy with another neighbourhod.

2359hrs: HEY, WHAT ARE THE MOTHER AND FATHER DOING?! They're taking gifts out of the black bag and putting them into the Christmas stockings lined along the Christmas tree! That's not for them to do! That's Santa's job!

0000hrs: Midnight. Still no sign of Santa Claus and his rein deers.

0002hrs: I'm receiving similar observations from the household beside. Wait, there, and there, and there! Hold on, it's the entire neighbourhood!

0003hrs: Oh. My. Gosh. Santa Claus doesn't exist. PARENTS are the ones who put those gifts into the Christmas sock. The world must know about this.

0054hrs: Does this mean that the gifts I received when I was a kid was never by Santa Claus too? -sobs-

0212hrs: Hi Boss Man. Hey it's me. I got new surveillance. The Santa Clause task that you gave me, yeah. Got video footage that Santa Claus is actually PARENTS. This global hoax must come to light. The rumour that Santa Claus rides his rein deers to houses, slides down chimneys and all IS A HOAX. By the way, remember to use a condom when you sleep with that Swedish girl.

LEAK #2: Tooth Fairy's real identity

"I am real. But sometimes I work late at the office, sometimes I'm male, sometimes I'm female"

Source: Wikileak audio bug, planted in a car
Date: Circa 2001
Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Audio stalk... I mean, audio log, starts:

Little girl: How come whenever my tooth drop and when I put it under my pillow, the next morning I have money?

Mother: The tooth fairy - who else?

Little girl: Hmph... but how come it coincides with the time that Pa is back home? When he goes back to UK, I don't get money.

Mother: Maybe because the Tooth Fairy has to give money to Pa's fallen tooth also... The Tooth Fairy has to travel a lot

Little girl: Oh... I thought the Tooth Fairy was Pa.

Mother: No lah...

REPORT: My initial suspicion that the Tooth Fairy was the father of this family has been proven wrong. Based on the mother's revelations, it is true that the Tooth Fairy really exists, and that it could only be at one place at any one time. The world ought to know this.

NOTE TO BOSS MAN: The world gotta know about this man... The Tooth Fairy is REAL. The rumour that it is actually our parents IS A HOAX. By the way, remember to use a condom when you sleep with that Swedish girl.

===
Spread these stories to everyone else! The truth must prevail! How can the government expect us to trust them when they as parents can't even tell the kids the truth!

KEEP THEM STRONG!

They need all the help they can get.

How do you measure a man?

2010-11-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

Of the many crude jokes we could make out of that question (yeah, I bet first thing you thought was 'inches'), I for one believe that what measures a man is the video below:

Ross Allen wrestling a 20 foot Anaconda... UNDER-FUCKING-WATER!

What. The Man.

**standing ovation, my head tilted an angle, while shaking my head in approval of his manliness**

Thanks a lot, and you're welcome.

2010-11-08T22:58:00.002+08:00

Awesome.

Malaysian, Singaporean, or Confusion?

2010-10-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I get very confused about where I am. It's very disturbing to feel at home in a country that doesn't welcome me (legally) as a resident.

The 3 things that makes me confused about where I am.

#1VEHICLE NUMBER PLATES
When I drive in KL, sometimes I get shocked to see a Malaysian vehicle plate. Like "What's that Malaysian car doing in Singapore!"

What's this Singapore car doing on a Malaysia road?

But then when I'm walking along the streets of Singapore, I get shocked to see a Singaporean vehicle plate. Like "What's that Singaporean car doing in Malaysia!"

What's this Malaysian car doing on a Singapore road?

Really mindfucking.

#2 TUDUNGS

A lot of Malay girls in Malaysia wear tudung... I get confused when I see a Malay girl wearing tudung in Singapore.

Btw, tudung is 'head scarf', pronounced as 'too dhong'.

The other day when I in the lift, a girl wearing a tudung entered. I was like 'HUH AM I IN MALAYSIA OR SINGAPORE!'

Even this also I confused.

Tudung Sumpah 2

#3 SOME PLACES IN SINGAPORE LOOKS LIKE MALAYSIA

I dub Kembangan as Mini Malaysia coz it looks like a Malay town in the outskirts of KL! Got one big mosque, a lot of mamak stalls, the names of the roads all Malay names.

Also, some stretches along Upper Bukit Timah Road, near Linear and Ten Mile Junction looks like a Chinese town e.g. Seremban.

Oh and not to forget the KTM railway tracks... Those are still part of Malaysia (for now).

Go there just feel like it's some place in Malaysia.

Nightmare Part 1

2010-10-14T02:52:00.003+08:00

I know how to get a nightmare already! It's damn easy! I noticed EVERY time that I get a nightmare, my blanket and quilt (yes, I sleep with both) are on the floor. It points to the fact that when I am cold, I get nightmares.

So, the recent nightmares I had:

#1 Desperately fighting for survival in a VIDEOGAME.

...and I'm proud to be a nerd! I finished Halo Reach 3 times in 20 hours! And later I dreamt that I was in a Firefight against a horde of Covenant soldiers!

Besides that, I had one freaking awesome one with proper plot and realism and everything. Freaking awesome!

I dreamt that I was in a zombie apocalypse. Yes, just like the videogame franchise "Left 4 Dead".

...and I was in it!

Well, one of my most favourite movies is "28 Weeks Later".

UK was engulfed by infected humans. The NATO forces took over London after the infection subsided. And shit happens to spread the virus to the European continent. Don't worry - Singapore is safe coz the causeway can be bombed.

So, in my dream, which I won't really dub as a nightmare coz I really enjoyed it,

I was a lucky survivor of the initial outbreak. So my dream started off from someone's apartment. We had to look for weapons to fend ourselves from zombie ambushes while we made our way from the apartment to the nearest safe zone where other survivors set up a defensive camp.

I found a frying pan in the kitchen.

Smashing some metal into your face since 1988.

The path to the survivor camp had a few zombies. Whacked them to death... I mean they're already dead, so when I mean whacked them to death I meant fucked them up beyond all recognition. Found a handgun and picked it up. Had 75 ammo so I decided to be conservative. Popped headshots to nearby zombies.

Then in the refugee camp, everyone was passing around improvised hurricane lamps to each survivor. There were about 40 survivors. The storm was coming and we needed to keep ourselves in light and warm coz the zombies are afraid of light and heat. If one didn't have light or heat, the zombies would pick that poor sod off.

So I came up with a brilliant idea. Instead of each person holding an individual hurricane lamp where the effect of light and heat won't be that much, I suggested to pour the kerosene into a hole in the ground so that we can start a huge fire. This would free up both hands for combat, whether hand hand or to hold our pistol properly, to defend ourselves from the impending zombie attack.

Fire scares the most primal of creatures - including zombies and YOU.

Then, as the storm approached and the zombies began to rush in, we tried to light up the hole of kerosene in the ground...

...BUT because the ground is porous, all the kerosene seeped into the ground!

FUCK!

The zombies attacked in force, and I messed up! My plan FAILED!

"Last one to kill the survivors is a rotten human!" - anonymous zombie

So we fended off the zombies in the dim lighting of the camp. Some of us managed to fight our way into a favela-like settlement. Managed to fight our way to another survivor camp. There were about 20 survivors left with me by then. We were glad to find the other survivors, coz they had lotsa guns and ammo. We were very relieved.

The leader of the second camp told us that they're trying to board up a few shops in the area. The shops contained supplies like weapons and food. Boarding up the windows would allow us to use it as a hideout during the night. So we quickly got to work. A bunch of us started pasting newspapers on the glass panels.

As we were doing that, someone came back screaming "THEY'RE COMING!!!" so we kanchiong. We didn't have enough masking tape to tape the newspapers, and I was thinking of crashing into the nearby stationery shop but that might only set the alarm and attract the zombies to our exact location.

So instead, we turned of all the lights and took defensive positions. I hid behind the wall of the entrance to our shop (we weren't able to board it up in time). I had 2 weapons with me; a metal baseball bat, and a wooden baseball bat.

I figured the metal baseball bat would deal a stronger blow but the swing would be slower due to the weight, while the wooden bat is definitely faster but also more fragile. Nonetheless, if the wooden baseball bat broke, I could use the sharp part as a stake and impale the zombies!

I've always wanted to do that.

So we waited silently for the zombies to rush into our shop. I was ready to deal a deadly blow on a zombies head, like this beautiful scene from 'Inglorious Basterds'...

...and then my alarm rang.

DAMMIT!

So, the awesome zombie apocalypse dream ended there...

...BUT I went back to sleep and I had another nightmare. I will include that story in Part 2 of this post in a few days.

**
Anyway, may I ask for one favour, dear reader. If you've read this far, can you please, for the sake of understanding me better, watch the video below.

Cheers to zombie videogames!

What's your story?

2010-10-12T02:16:00.002+08:00

I assure you that this post is damn random

**
I have two phones. One is my Singapore number, the other is my Malaysia number. So my Malaysia number had a previous owner. Apparently the number was recycled. In fact, it was recycled so recent that the contacts of the previous owner have not been notified.

Let's just call the previous owner Sarkar. Pronounced saaahr-kaaahr.

"You don't mess with the Sarkar"

...certainly not 'Sarkar on Evidence'

Wait, Sarkar in real life is an Indian female (or so I think, based on the actual name which I will not disclose, and since her callers address her as 'Cik' or Miss). No idea how she looks like, coz I'm completely unrelated to her. So I just googled 'Bollywood actress' and found this.

"Hi! I'm Sarkar!"

For our purposes, let's just take the above girl as Sarkar.

As Sarkar hasn't inform people of the change in her number, I, the new owner of the number, keeps receiving calls from them.

Sarkar's bank calls me to ask for payment. I must say I'm impressed by CIMB - they are very polite and can speak solid English (coz I refuse to speak in Malay).

Sarkar's annoying telemarketers call me to advertise some nonsense. I say I am not Sarkar and that I am a student, and they jump at the opportunity to offer something else to students. I say I am not interested and never to call back this number.

Sarkar's ASTRO bill is not paid so ASTRO sends me automated voice messages to tell me to pay up. For the benefit of non-Malaysians, ASTRO is our version of 'cable TV'. Difference is that we don't use 'cable', but we use 'satellite'. Oh ya, it's called Satellite TV.

...so with all this calls, one would think that Sarkar is dead. I mean, wouldn't Sarkar suspect that her bank might have frozen her account after months of not paying up, and this would cue her to inform the bank that 'Hey guys, I changed my number'. The fact that she hasn't could point to the inference that she is dead.

"Hi! I'm Sarkar!"

One would also think that if her satellite TV bill is not paid and that they subsequently cut it, that she would call ASTRO up and ask 'Why no reception sial?', and in the process find out that her bill hasn't been paid for months, and thus find out that they have been trying to contact her at the wrong number, whereby she can just provide ASTRO with her new number?

Then, one day I received a SMS...

"USJ-HONDA. Your car [SarCAR] <-- hurhurhur... see what I did there? is ready for collection. Amount: RM###. ... Enquiries, pls call 03-######## (Please Do No Reply)"

Following the letter of the SMS, I decided not to reply, nor shall I call coz I have no queries.

Sasrkar's car dealer SMSes me to inform Sarkar that her Honda has arrived. Well, this probably means that Sarkar is alive and recently purchased a car... but I guess she also forgot to tell Honda that she is not using this old number anymore.

Oh, I also know that Sarkar is from KL or Selangor, since USJ Honda => Subang Jaya. And that the area code is 03.

To think that commercial entities were not informed of her change of number is still believable. I mean, I haven't told National Geographic that I left Boarding School 5 years ago. They're probably still sending my advertisements. And I know this is highly probably because while I was staying in boarding school, other long gone seniors' mails were still being sent there! Those really old seniors are old enough to be Lore - like some guy would say 'Do you remember the time of BLABLA where things are so different?' and we would go 'Wow, those were the days' sorta long gone seniors...

...but one week, I received several SMSes from HER FAMILY! I for one would tell my mum that I changed my mobile number! Here's a real SMS:

"Hai ka mum say thx 4 the cake, it so nice ka mmmm....."

To which I reply:
"Hi. I am not [Sarkar]. I am the new owner of this number. I am in no way related to the previous owner. Hope you may find out the new number of your friend, and stop contacting this number. Thank you"

Another SMS:

"di call me can? Shamalah"

No. Cannot.

Maybe she's a prodigal daughter... her parents should punish her for trying to run away from home, getting satellite TV, buying her own car, and not telling her family her new mobile number.

I just wanted to put this photo here.

So what's the point of this story?

The entire Sarkar Saga just made me wondered... What if someone else were to understand my life from bits and pieces of random information, receipts, phone calls and SMS to a wrong number, letters delivered to an old address? What would they surmise?

For instance, what would a receipt say about you?

What if someone found your phone bill and saw your calling/SMS trends?

What if someone were to look through your garbage?

What if someone were to look through your internet history?

This is highly reminiscent of a How I Met Your Mother episode, where Ted gets an invite to some artsy fartsy ball as he took over the apartment from the previous owner. Likewise, he tried to trace the identity of the person for fun.

What would your story be?

FAIL or WIN?

2010-09-11T00:17:00.001+08:00

When creative marketing FAIL (or WIN?). You decide.

"Wow, so big!"

"Watch your step"

"Don't stand on me, you asshole!"

It's just a matter of time

2010-08-30T02:14:00.000+08:00

What we think right now is going oh so well really just runs on time that will inevitably run out.

Just a matter of time until our luck runs out.
Just a matter of time until goodwill is depleted.
Just a matter of time until patience is exhausted.

Then what's gonna happen once time runs out and the inevitable happens?

No amount of smiling and acting like nothing's wrong is going to change the fact that things WILL screw up. There's only so much one can hope and pray.

Better hope that we're all prepared once that day comes.

Gosh life is scary and uncertain, right?

**
Anyway, here's some cute picture. Awwwwww... baby fell asleep while playing with the shoe.

Weight gain > weight loss

2010-08-16T00:53:00.000+08:00

My friend suggested that I might have tuberculosis...

From the trustworthy Wikipedia:

"The classic symptoms are a chronic cough with blood-tinged sputum, fever, night sweats, and weight loss."

While reading the sentence from left to right, I was going "chronic cough"... shit...
"blood-tinged sputum"....oh my son...
"fever" ........dammit.....
"night sweats".... hell this better not be real...

and then finally,

"weight loss".

PHEW.

Confirm no TB.

OR. Maybe I might be eating way beyond the amount of weight I'm losing!

Here's to the greatest hit video (pun intended)

So mean. They bully a girl.

2010-08-01T23:36:00.000+08:00

Life is FUCKING SCARY i tell you!

Maybe what jiejie says is true... It's just too many things happening at the same time.

Oh well... BRING. IT. ON.

3 Tenets of Life

2010-07-31T00:59:00.002+08:00

Wise Man say:

#1 Me. First.

In the event that some priorities overlap, my problems are more important than yours. I'll settle mine first before I settle yours.

#2 Doctrine of Separation of Powers

Some things which are not my purview, I should just don't care. Your daiji. As long I can cover my kar cheng, then enough already.

#3 Insulation & Detachment
The more detached, the less problems.

Series of unfortunate events

2010-07-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

The Singapore-Kuala Lumpur international flight is one of the biggest jokes in international air travel in the Southeast Asian region.

The plane doesn't even move on the travel guide screen when displaying the world map.

Upon leaving Changi Airport, the plane ascends to its maximum altitude. Within 15 minutes, the pilot announces that they will begin the descent into KL International Airport (KLIA). And the entire duration of the flight? At the best weather, 35 minutes. At most 50 minutes.

It makes traveling by national carriers a big waste of money. Budget airlines are much more economical given the circumstances. It becomes a bigger joke when one misses his budget flight and has to buy a seat on the ridiculously priced national carrier of a Singapore.

KLIA is located 1 hour away from KL city. So my family and I would take an express train from KL Sentral to KLIA - only 30 minutes train ride. Bypasses all the ridiculous Malaysian drivers on the expressway coz the train has its own freaking track.

**
Last weekend, I flew back to KL for my checkup. Went for a surgery 4 weeks ago and have to go back to the same doctor in KL coz doctors can't just transfer a case just like that to another doctor. So have to make the trouble to travel just for a short check up.

So on my return to Singapore, I missed my flight.

The first of the series of unfortunate events starts with this. Rain in KL city.

A trip that would usually take 20 minutes from my house to KL Sentral took about 35 minutes. By the time I reached KL Sentral, I had 5 minutes to get a ticket at board the train.

There were 3 guys in front of me. 5 minutes. C'mon, Malaysia service can definitely do 1 minute per person. But no. Not possible. So I missed the 5pm train which would get me at KLIA by 530pm.

Do note it says that the frequency of departure is 15 minutes. Which means I should be able to board the 515pm train. But no, apparently there was some track upgrading resulting in the frequency to increase to 30 minutes. And the train is to stop at every single stop along the way - usually it zooms straight to KLIA but for this time it had to pick people up.

Reached KLIA, rushed to the Jetstar checkin counter, just to see NO QUEUE. The staff was just about to leave.

I quickly got hold of one of them and told them that I just missed my check in and whether they could quickly check me in. I was only carrying hand luggage so just needa get me my boarding pass.

The ever so helpful staff, in a overly calm manner to the extent of talking so freaking slowly, told me to go to the MH (Malaysia Airlines) counter coz Jetstar is under MH management in Malaysia. He took so damn long to describe to me how to get there, when all he needed to do was to just gester 'Walk down that way'. Instead he had to give me a detailed description of everything around the MH counter.

I guess maybe me speaking in English to him might have caught him off guard.

There was a delay of several seconds as his mind listened to my English, translated it into Malay, process my question, formulate the answer, translate his Malay thoughts into English, and speak it out to me in English. Understand that it takes a few seconds to mouth a reply in a foreign language. C'mon dude, the last thing I need right now is to have you slowly relay your directions that I am relying on to get out of this trouble!

So I thought, next time better to just speak Malay to them. Speeds things up. So I went to the MH counter and spoke to the kind lady in Malay. She duly pointed out that the counter was for domestic flights only and directed me to the MH International Counter. There, I spoke to the guy in Malay. I explained that I missed the check in, that my flight hasn't left, and that I was directed here by Jetstar staff coz Jetstar is under MH. He replied fluently in Malay that MH has nothing to do with Jetstar and that I am at the wrong place. He told me to go back to Jetstar, but I said, I came from there and they told me to go to him.

Many middle fingers were pointed at him in my mind.

I already explained my predicament to him, and he insisted that I go back to square one. After about a minute, he finally understood the need to break the circle of instructions that he was giving me. He directed me to the Information Counter. Not of any help. There, they told me to go to the Jetstar office.

So I went to look for the Jetstar office. Turned out THERE IS NO JETSTAR OFFICE. No such thing in KLIA. Luckily I bumped into several MH stewardess and a random faggot, and respectfully speaking to them in Malay, asked is there a Jetstar office. They said it is under MH, and pointed me to the MH office.

At the MH office (which btw, I must commend them on being very helpful and courteous unlike their frontline staff), they explained that there's nothing they can do right now coz my Jetstar flight was about to take off. They told me the next available flights out of KL, and told me where to purchase the tickets from the different airlines. Didn't help me get on my flight, but they dealt it nicely and offered constructive help on what to do next. Mind you, they were back office staff. Yes, MH is Malaysian Hospitality.

It does mean a lot when one frustrated unlucky sod is finding a way around his problem and people actually bother to remain calm and help him constructively.

-1 point for Jetstar for bad directions. -1 for MH for fucked up frontline Malay dude who lead me on a wild goose chase, but +2 for good office staff. Score: Jetstar: -1, MH: 1

So I thanked them fervently and proceeded to the MH ticketing office downstairs. The next earliest MH flight to Singapore is at 1045pm. No way I'm taking that. Gonna reach my place past midnight. So I asked about other airlines, and she said SQ leaves at 910pm, while Silk Air leaves at 935pm.

Rushed up to SQ ticketing. Got the 910pm flight. Relieved. But -2 for SQ coz the ticket is damn expensive. $350 yo!

$350 could've gotten me an early ticket to Seoul. It could pay for more than half my backpacking trip across Vietnam. Hell, it could make you make me a sandwich!

Noticed that the manager was Singaporean. This may sound weird, but I felt some sense of security and calm when I saw a Singaporean there. Yes it is very easy to tell a Singaporean Chinese from a Malaysian Chinese. One of the many clues - BAD command of Malay, good command of English. Some semblance of similarity in... uhm... my own home country???

So sense of security after running around for 45 minutes, +1 to SQ.

Jetstar: -1, MH: 0, SQ: -1.

Got the ticket at 710pm. Checked in. Took a damn slow walk to the departure hall. Boarded the aerotrain to the satellite terminal. And when I thought that nothing else could go wrong in this already shitty situation, the aerotrain I was in HAD PROBLEM. Freaking hell just stoned there for 5 minutes. Finally they made announcement and everyone alighted and boarded the aerotrain on the other platform.

Gosh, enough cock ups already, man. No matter how trivial they are.

Went to BK for dinner. Was supposed to have dinner in Singapore, but oh well... can't wait. When queuing up, yeah, well, as expected it took long to be served at a fast food restaurant. Malaysian Quality Service; Kuala Lumpur's Finest. Then when it came to my turn, I realised I didn't have enough RM with me so paid using SGD and boy I got the worst freaking exchange rate ever - 2.17!!! Prevailing rate hovers around 2.3. Giving me an exchange rate of 2.17 is like KLIA pointing middle finger at me.

"Yes, we've already made you pay airport tax. Yes, your train from KL was delayed by us. Yes, the aerotrain had problems. And yes, I am taking somemore money from you from the exchange rate"

Waited at the boarding lounge. Skyped with Dr Y H Chua but she was more interested in reveling at my misfortune.

Weirdly again, it felt nice to be amongst Singaporeans at the waiting lounge.

But then the freaking flight got delayed by 30 mins... coz air traffic into KLIA was heavy.

Boarded the flight. Boy I was lucky to be on this flight. I think I got one of the last tickets - was put at the back cabin.

Anyway, here's one more point for SQ. They had a Marion Cotillard on their cabin crew.

Wow. An Asian Marion Cotillard. A nice change from the boring look of normal Singaporeans on that SQ flight.

So +1 for SQ.

Then, the plane started taxiing. The engines revved up. Finally getting out of this place after 2.5 hours of waiting. But, the engines quietened down and the plane started taxiing somemore.

CHEAT MY FEELINGS. -1 to SQ.

There was a lot of turbulence flying over the Malay peninsula. So +1 for fun ride.

So Jetstar: -1, MH: 1, SQ: 0

Okay okay I've gone out of point.

**
Let's revisit the front of this post. Why did I go back to KL? I went for a surgery 4 weeks ago and my wound is still bleeding. Recovery takes 5 weeks. I'm supposed to stay in KL for the full 5 weeks but internship calls. So I had to make this weekend trip. In fact, even for the following weekends as well. But I'm gonna put a stop to it coz now is just cleaning up the wound. Otherwise, all is recovering well.

Why can't I do the follow up in Singapore? Coz doctors can't just transfer cases.

Why didn't I just do the surgery in Singapore? C'mon you chauvinistic close minded inconsiderate Singaporeans, put yourself in the shoes of a foreign student before you ask such a question - and it's not about affordability. It's about recovery.

Anyway, it's not worth my time and money travelling back to KL for the weekend just for a follow up which is no crucial. In fact, in my 2nd week, the doctor went to UK for one week so I question how important is the 5 week consultation when he was absent so early into recovery.

One session is RM290 - and I've been for about 10 sessions. Surgery under general anesthesia is a few thousand... no idea. Luckily all is covered under insurance...

...but not time lost and money wasted on traveling.

So what did I learn that day? Oh, many things.

#1 Be punctual, dumbass.

#2 Visa credit card is very useful.

#3 When in trouble in KLIA, do not bother asking the front desk staff coz they know fucking nuts about anything.

Christopher Nolan & Friends in Dreamland

2010-07-23T02:41:00.001+08:00

Inception is a bloody brilliant movie.

There are 2 movies which I watched upon its release that after watching it for the first time, my mind went kapoof. Brain splatter everywhere. Feel so damned great for understanding the movie.

Inception was one of them. And the other movie, you ask?

The Prestige (2006). Also by Christopher Nolan.

And then, after watching it once, what did I do? Watch it again. Then after watching it, discuss further with others who watched it. Only then will you truly appreciate the theme and subtleties of the movie.

Brilliant.

I must say though, although both Batman movies were directed by Nolan, I don't think they were as epic coz it had to adhere to the Batman story arch. Dark Night was good, but he didn't have the freedom to explore mindfucking - such as in The Prestige and Inception. Joker was just.... a very smart criminal, which was good. But Batman was just ehiufhdkajsfhjkadsfhjdasbfjkadshfjgasd.

Here's my review.

**

Cast
Alfred and Scarecrow joined from the Batman movies.

Ken Wat-thehellareyousayingIcan'tmakeupyourbadEnglish-kaninabe was just there to add to the mindfuck - coz his poor pronunciation makes you pay attention more to the dialogue. His character was useful only at the beginning of the movie. Once he got shot by the bodyguard projection, his acting script just involved coughing up blood.

Juno delivered her baby and decided to go to France to get a university degree. She's cute. Enough said.

Leonardo Da Vinci didn't freeze to death in the Atlantic Ocean, bulked up, and acted in several good thriller and action movies. He is indeed a good actor.

Marion Cotillard was scary. Psychotic scary. At times, I was wondering whether she screams and glares at people on a daily basis. You don't rehearse for doing that - you do it on a daily basis in your real life that's how you get so good at screaming and glaring.

Plot
Brilliant.

The big question that got everyone gasping is:

Will the top totem stop spinning?

No.

Of course you're free to believe that it did, but since you've read this far, just read on will'ya.

Remember they went to Mombasa to try the new sedative. Recall that Cobb tried it, and very briefly he dreamed about Mal, then suddenly he wakes up. Yusef did mention that the sedative works for 4 hours.

This scene, while definitely not conclusive, leaves a very very big possibility that Cobb is actually still in a dream. Recall also that he tries to spin his totem, but immediately Saito interrupts and Cobb drops the totem. From then on, he never spun the totem so he (and us dear audience) do not know whether he is in reality or in dreamland.

It is more likely than not that the top will not stop spinning. His children's faces he sees are merely projections of his memories from long ago - note that the kids didn't age that much (not sure whether it's deliberate or not).

So what's the significance if Cobb was still under sedation in Mombasa? Recall, the new sedative works for 4 hours.

4ˆ6 = 1096 hours = 170.67 days. Long enough for them to execute the extraction on Fischer.

Cobb doesn't even know that he's dreaming. Everything that happened in the subsequent scenes are entirely in his own dream. So he completes the mission, goes back to USA, sees his children, thinks it's reality...

...and then once 4 hours of his Mombasa sedative trial is over, which corresponds to 170.67 days of executing the operation and being a free man, he will suddenly wake up in a basement in Mombasa.

That is why the top totem ending scene was damn scary. It gave me chills and goosebumps.

Of course there are small questions here and there. But I shan't bore you with hypotheses.

Verdict
Inception is like a long Court of Appeal case without a judgment.

What you have is the document with all its facts, reasoning, obiters, structure, all leading to the final judgment at the bottom of the document. When you reach the bottom, what you want to see is 'Appeal dismissed' or 'Judgment for the appellant', but what you get instead is 'Figure out your own conclusion based on the reasoning I gave above'.

===
Mombasa
16. In Mombasa, Cobb tried a new powerful sedative introduced by the chemist Yusef. Yusef said it lasts for 4 hours. Cobb offers to try it, at which Yusef agrees and sedates him. Cobb falls into a powerful sleep which will last for 4 hours.

17. Cobb dreams of Mal...

...

Judgment
126. I have laid out the reasoning for this judgment.

127. Refer to [16] for the ratio of this case.

128. Appeal dismissed with cost. The appellant should stop dreaming, wake up and get back to reality.
===

What a brilliantly composed judgment by Nolan JA.

Extreme Makeover: Hostel Edition - Season 1 Episode 1

2010-07-18T05:22:00.001+08:00

In this inaugural episode of Extreme Makeover: Hostel Edition, we visit a hostel apartment.

Our host has lived in many places in Singapore over the past 9 years.

From 2002 to 2007, he stayed at the RI Boarding School. For the 8 months before he started lawschool, he straddled between his homecountry and several places in Singapore. Most of his time in Singapore was spent at his friends' residences, but he also stayed at a rented room known as the Somerset Prostitute Den.

Later in 2008, he went to the Residence @ Prinsep for a year, before moving temporarily to the haunted hostel Evans Shitlodge. After that, he moved to the Havelock Hostel where he currently resides.

After having stayed at the Somerset Prostitute Den, our host knew that if he could survive that shithole, no other hole would be as shitty as that. Having no home in a country that he lives in, naturally he would want to make the best out of wherever he stays, and no shithole (except the likes of the Somerset Prostitute Den and Evans Shitlodge) is flushable.

It was wise of our host to set the lowest of expectations when he first stepped into his new apartment. Having just arrived from the airport, his first destination was to check-in into his new apartment. Upon receiving the keys, he knew that expectations breed disappointment, so he deliberately let his guard down.

When he reached the door to his apartment, he inserted the key, turned it, and...

...the lock was rusty and quite hard to turn.

"Nice to meet you too, New Apartment! I'm sure we'll get along perfectly well" our host uttered under his breath.

Our host opened the door. To his pleasant surprise, he was greeted cordially by the a party! More specifically, the aftermath of a party.

The multi-racial gang of white vodka, tanned whiskey, and dark wine bottles screamed "HELLO NEW GUY!" from the tabletop.

The cigarette buds, lying in the jacuzi (ash tray) said "You smell nice, new guy".

The shoeprints and the sticky stains on the floor clinging on to me like a desperate hooker, "Don't go, don't go".

The unwashed plates and mugs proudly displaying their battle scars from the past war.

The clothes hanging out at the hanging area.

Oh look, someone's an aspiring cook!

I would also suggest reading the prequels "Living in Cleanliness" and the bestselling book for all exchange students,

Home Cleaning for Exchange Students

Tune in next week for Episode 2.

PREVIEW OF NEXT'S WEEK'S EXTREME MAKEOVER, HOSTEL EDITION EPISODE 2
our host cleans up the entire apartment by himself as the exchange student is spending his last few days in Southeast Asia by backpacking around the region.

Our host roars at the end of the episode,

THIS.

IS.

NOT.

YOUR FUCKING FRATHOUSE IN ANGMOHLAND!

ACJC v Prison Inmates

2010-07-12T22:37:00.002+08:00

Watched the World Cup at the Pavilion.

España las primeras!

Congrats to Spain! Spaniards around the world deserve to rejoice and celebrate for their nation.

Spaniards.

Not other nationalities. You Spanish izzit?

Okay, Spain wins. Supporters and fans also happy. But THAT happy?

Anyway, couldn't help but to make this observation.

The Spanish colours were like ACJC... While the Dutch donned prison inmate uniforms.

The point was probably reinforced by the degree of violence.

Anyway, to celebrate the Spanish victory, let's enjoy some Spanish goodness for the week. Watch [REC 2]. Awesome horror show.

5 Reasons for an Enlarged Abdomen in Men

2010-06-16T08:25:00.000+08:00

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

In my endeavour to discover the reason for my engorged belly, I consulted one Dr Y H Chua (MBBS, Obstetrics & Gynaecology) Singapore Medical University whom I entrust all my medical advice on. Her expertise in the field of Obstetrics and Gynaecology is well-known around Kampung Kembangan, Malaysian Overseas Territories.

1. WATER RETENTION
Dr Chua postulated the possibility of water retention. I personally felt that this was the substantial reason as to my engorged belly because I have indeed been drinking a lot of water, to the extent that almost every 2 hours, I need to visit the washroom. In fact, in one of the $10 Geomancy Sessions that Dr Chua herself recommended me to attend back in 2008, the Geomancer told me that I will face some problem in connection with drinking too much water.

This is highly plausible. It is supported by the testimonies of 2 friends who touched my tummy (hmph...) and mentioned that it is hard. Here, it is possible that I could have (1) awesome abs, or (2) a turgid engorged belly due to excessive water intake. But we all know that I don't have awesome abs... Who are we kidding... So by elimination, it is simply the latter.

So, water retention in my case is basically just too much water in my body such that the pressure in my belly is high.

However, Dr Chua vehemently disagrees with the Geomancer and my 2 friend's testimonies because water retention is not isolated to the tummy. It permeates the joints. It could also explain my firm biceps that my friends and relatives who haven't seen me for months mistakenly assume to be muscles.

In her learned opinion expounded to me via email:

"i researched on water retention already lah. you probably don't have it unless the areas you're concerned about extend to your arms, legs what not. and does this happen all the time? cause if it doesn't.. and its like.. happening regularly every month, then you have pre-menstrual water retention"

Dr Chua established months ago that I am wrong until she says I am right. So this possibility is ruled out and we shall move on to the second possibility.

2. FAT
I am fat. I eat too much. I don't exercise much. I laze around. My height is 173cm, weight is 76kg, making my BMI 25.6

Enough said.

But Dr Chua insists that this is not the reason either, no matter how straight forward it is.

"i have never mentioned that you are fat. of course i do NOT believe you to be fat"

At this juncture, I start to question Dr Chua's medical expertise, to which she responds:

"im not intent on showing. i KNOW. therefore i just need to find out WHICH you're suffering from"

I asked somemore, "Are you mentally sound?"

"obviously i am. stop questioning your doctor before she takes a chainsaw and does a c-section on you."

Yes, ma'am!

3. HERMAPHRODITE
Because it is positive that I do not have water retention, because it is against visible and physical certainty that I am fat, at this juncture Dr Chua insists fervently that I am a hermaphrodite. A PREGNANT hermaphrodite, to be precise.

According to Dr Chua's astute observation even without ultra-sound, there is in fact a fetus growing in me. The reason why I am perpetually hungry is because I am eating for two. Logically, if one eats a lot, shouldn't the entire body gain mass, and not one particular spot?

If pregnant woman's belly engorges because of the fetus growing in her, why should it be no different for a pregnant hermaphrodite?

Dr Chua is absolutely certain beyond reasonable doubt that I am a hermaphrodite. Notable celebrities include Lady Gaga, and Cartman's Mum.

Lady Gaga... or rather, Lady Papa??? (btw, I love her song 'Alejandro'. Awesome stuff)

Cartman's mum... rather, mum AND dad.

I quote more relevant excerpts from her highly informative emails:

"These so-called "immune complexes " can stimulate histamine release and promote swelling or bloating of the abdomen .

I KNEW IT!!!! this totally proves my earlier theory. though i guess technically SOON you'll be one sex (female).

These include oestrogen (estrogen)-containing drugs such as hormone replacement therapy or the combined oral contraceptive pill, as well as non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs and beta-blockers"

With a doctor like Dr Chua, you know your medical advice is sound.

I am currently a pregnant hermaphrodite, and am undergoing a transitionary stage to morph into a full fledged female.

4. WORMS
Before I expound on Dr Chua's learned medical opinion, here's a treat. Ain't she cute? Awwwwww.... Heartwarming... Warm fuzzy feeling... Fuhhhhzeeeeee wuhhhzeeeeeeeee...

Now, back to the post proper. Viewer discretion is advised.

Click and enjoy!

Dr Chua guests that those things could be in my tummy. It is causing my tummy to bulge. However, I argued that it is impossible because I am not emaciated. I am putting on MUSKLES everywhere. If I had stomach worms, I would have a hugeass tummy but emaciated limbs like an African kid.

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way mocking the African kids. I empathize with their plight. I chose that award-winning photo because it touches the heart of millions. Well, if it didn't touch your heart, you're a monster.

So that is unlikely. Dr Chua consequently ruled this out.

5. BAD MEMORY
In one of our email correspondences, which I can't recall very well, I was berated by Dr Chua for forgetting to answer some questions

"YOU FAIL TO ANSWER MY QUESTION. IMSURE. that, combined with the earlier point = conclusion that you have a worse memory than that of a goldfish.

maybe that's also why you're gaining weight. (once again, note that i have not mentioned you are fat) also, i never said you have "fats". you're gaining weight at an incredulous rate because you probably eat and forget you've eaten (thanks to your goldfish memory) and your stomach says its bloated but cause your memory's so bad, it doesn't register in time to send the message to your mouth and hands which continue stuffing you with more food."

Dr Chua postulates that my memory is so bad such that I forget that I have eaten.

One true incident was when I was at the school cafeteria. I was having tea with my friend Ah Neh. Being myself, tea escalated into a Spaghetti with Chicken Chop. This was at 5pm. I was to meet my friend Lincoln at 7pm for dinner and drinks. While I was eating the spaghetti, I called Lincoln to ask what time we're eating dinner...

...and then I realised, I WAS EATING SPAGHETTI AND ASKING WHEN AM I EATING DINNER.

A true story.

K hold on, lemme go hang my laundry. I forgot to hang it since it was washed half an hour ago. Brb.

...

...

...

BACK!!!

Hey, what were we talking about again?

Epiphany

2010-05-15T02:15:00.000+08:00

What's the one thing we do when we're in a shitty position?

Run away and live in denial coz it's always easier that way.

I guess the the problems were so glaring all along but I always tried to cover it up by thinking it was solvable.

For once, I hope fairy tales do exist.

Smart tunnel, stupid expressway

2010-05-03T03:23:00.003+08:00

I decided one evening to be a useful brother. My sisters went for mass but I was lazy so instead of being useless, I tried to be useful by volunteering to buy new wipers for my dad's car and run some errands. I also noticed that the toilet rolls were about to run out so instead of letting ourselves be caught like the guy in the Nobody music video, I decided to go buy more...

...and this may sound absurd, but you know you are bound to have a special friendship when you enter your new hostel apartment and hear someone screaming from the toilet "Help, I'm out of toilet roll. Can you please take for me?"

A true story. Repeated again and again for the purposes of defamation. Priceless.

And you thought that once bitten twice shy. How about SEVEN times? What would the idiom for that be?

K the story of my awesome ex-apartment mate and favourite Korean pop star will be left to personal storytelling. Now back to the post proper.

My parents are in France now so it's just us 3 kids at home. So yeah that's why I decided to play elder brother and be useful. Though I'm sure that my two younger sisters are better at keeping the house than me.

Went to some place near I dunno what road in KL. It started to rain heavily when I drove out of Bukit Antarabangsa where I stay (and unlike Singapore's 'bukits', this is really a hill with high elevation). And KL city is known for its bad drainage - which led to the creation of the SMART Tunnel to drain water out of the main city areas. But what they forgot to build was simple drainage of the expressways.

So whappen was a small portion of the expressway I was on was flooded such that low vehicles could not proceed safely. There was a risk of water entering the exhaust pipe and messing things up.We were just stranded in the middle of the expressway with water slowly rising up.

The picture ain't clear, but the water level was just slightly below the motorcycle and car's exhaust pipe.

Some motorcycles were lucky to be able to cross safely. But I saw one motorcycle tried crossing, bellowed smoke and stopped halfway. Damn sad. Then the guy had to dismount and push his bike across. I dunno whappened next - whether he had to tumpang other people or just push the bike to a nearby workshop.

Again, my iPhone camera ain't that good to capture this scene, but I could see the water level rising. Of course not rising until drown, but our fear was that it might get into the exhaust pipe.

Was stuck there for about 30 minutes. Everyone was waiting for the water level to subside. Finally, this MPV grew a pair and decided to have a go. After that, several other sedans also followed suit, and having seen them cross safely, I knew my Honda City would survive too.

So here's me taking chances. I just zoomed across the flood. Halfway through, I felt a very strong drag from my car and thought that my car kena water... but continued pressing on...

and soon enough,

...I made it safely across. The expressway was clear like hell.

Later as I was going back home, I saw the jam that the flood created.

So as I mentioned above, KL actually accomplished an engineering feat by creating the huge SMART Tunnels - underground road in normal weather, huge drainage pipe in storm. It has saved KL city from 7 major floods since its operation a few years ago. I love driving through it coz it's like some Burnout or Need for Speed race route.

...but for the millions of dollars spent on that tunnel, the simplest thing of clearing up clogged expressway drainage systems could not be accomplished. This isn't the first time I've been stuck in this flood - the exact same thing happened about a year ago. And I'm sure between this 1 year interval, there were many similar incidents as well.

Hence, smart tunnel, stupid expressway.

I don't know whether people have reported this matter to the local authority, but I guess now that I have pictorial evidence, I guess I could be a useful citizen.

Poof...

2010-04-05T21:22:00.004+08:00

Watched "Up In The Air". Awesome movie.

Don't be afraid of the spoilers.

It's one of those shows that for the first half of the movie, you wonder what the hell is happening (just like "7 Pounds"). Wondering what the hell the movie is getting at. Of course the dialogue was witty, the acting was great save for that little girl failed crying when she said her boyfriend dumped her over SMS, and the soundtrack was good.

But of course, what is the punchline of this movie? The much-awaited revelation and twist?

Once they revealed it, it was awesome.

Ryan Bingham (played by George Clooney) is a Career Transitioner which is a professional way of saying Person Who Does The Firing for the Bosses. Companies hire Bingham to go and fire their employees. He travels like mudda hell a lot (350,000,000 miles in one year). On one of his 'business trips' he meets this charismatic and charming woman which I can't remember her name coz she's damn ugh as will be revealed later on, but for convenience sake let's call her "Luggage".

So Bingham and Luggage happy happy, love each others company, hang out a lot, makes you think that they're gonna get married soon (and mind you, both of them are in their middle ages). You really feel happy for the both of them. You wouldn't be human if you couldn't see that.

They meet whenever their 'business trips' bring them to the same destination. After spending a weekend at Bingham's sister's wedding, Bingham sends Luggage off on her flight to Chicago. At the airport, Bingham bids farewell to Luggage:

Luggage: "Call me when you're lonely"
Bingham: "I'm lonely"

... and Luggage just giggles and boards the plane. K but that's not the point.

So then Bingham goes about with his life, realising that things are different. He's going back alone again, after all the happy timez with Luggage.

Oh did I mention that Bingham is also an inspirational speaker. He speaks about 'putting things into your backpack', an allegory to take the important things in your life with you coz having too much may be a burden, and to appreciate the important people in life blabla yaddayadda.

So in the middle of his speech, he suddenly just halts and remembers Luggage. It is clear that he misses her. He leaves the stage and his manager asks "What the fuck are you doing?". He immediately rushes to the airport and gets on a flight to Chicago where Luggage lives.

He rents a car and drives to Luggage's house (she gave him her address on one of their happy timez). Approaches the door. Smiles to himself. Rings the bell. She opens the door in shock.

He says, "So I was in the neighbourhood..."

...and then he sees young children run up the stairs.

Bingham's expression changes. Shocked. Dumbfounded. Disappointed. Fooled.

Luggage just stares at him.

Bingham steps back in resignation.

Then, we hear a male voice, "Hey honey, who's that at the door?"

Luggage closes the door and says, "Just somebody who's lost".

WHAM BAM! LUGGAGE IS FREAKING MARRIED WITH 2 CHILDREN.

It doesn't end there.

Next scene shows Bingham in his hotel room, sipping whiskey alone. The camera pans out of his room to portray how lonely he is.

The next day, when he's on the skytrain heading to his flight terminal, Luggage calls Bingham on his cell. She says, "What were you thinking, showing up at my door like that?".

Bingham replies, "What do you mean? I wanted to see you. I didn't know you had a family. Why didn't you tell me that?".

"I'm sorry I ruined your evening, but you could have seriously screwed things up for me. That's my family. That's my real life."

"I thought I was a part of your real life."

"I thought we signed up for the same thing."

"Try and help me understand exactly what it is that you signed up for."

Luggage replies confidently, "I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. I mean... ... ... you are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives, you're a... a parenthesis."

Bingham: "I'm a parenthesis?"

Luggage, rather frustrated, "I mean... what do you want? Tell me what you want."

Bingham's facial expression... wow... Clooney pulled it off damn well. Imagine that guy, that charismatic old man, with a face that's lost and on the verge of crying but still holding it in coz he's in the freaking skytrain. He MAN.

Luggage continues, "You don't even know what you want. Ryan, I'm a grown up, okay. So if you would like to see me again, then give me a call."

Bingham is just speechless. He searches for words. His mouth forcefully tries to utter some words, but he just gives up and hangs up.

Seriously, you wouldn't be human if you did not feel for Bingham.

Next (hmph, I keep using 'next', don't I?), Bingham's on his flight out of Chicago. The air stewardess announces that there is someone special on this flight. It is revealed that it is HIM, Bingham, for he has flown 10 million miles, making the 7th man to achieve this milestone. Yeah, it's a big deal to achieve this. But it's not difficult given his line of work.

So the captain comes from the cockpit to congratulate him. Says he is the youngest to have ever achieved this. Bingham tells the captain that he has waited for this moment for a long time, but now that he is at that moment, he had nothing to say. He was not at all excited to achieve this 10 million miles achievement.

What this meant was he achieved a big deal of an award, but didn't even feel happy about it coz... what's the point if you don't have anyone to share that joy with.

Then you realise what the title of the movie is:

"UP IN THE AIR"

He is not just a guy who travels by air a lot. More significantly, his hopes, dreams, and happiness just went 'up in the air' when he realised that the woman he loved so much cannot be there for him coz she's married.

To be used as a 'booty call' when on their business trips, to spend time together after a tiring task, only for Luggage to go home to her 'real life' and leave Bingham alone.

Everything that Bingham went through was for nothing.

This movie is a must-watch. This review does no justice to the movie. You got to see and feel the characters for yourselves, and when the revelation comes, you might just start tearing (or cursing WTF, just like I did!!!).

Kick Me

2010-04-03T00:51:00.000+08:00

STEADY AH!!!

That is what mugging is doing to me. Everytime I do my readings, I feel like I'm damn knowledgeable, all prepared to sit for exams. Then go for seminars, I realise how much I don't know. Then attempt past year papers, well... Enough said.

Anyways, I really love this song. Nice lyrics.

Chori Chori Chupke Chupke

2010-04-02T01:35:00.003+08:00

Here's an awesome video of the Halo videogame series. Though you may not be a Halo fan, nonetheless do watch it for entertainment purposes. It's kickass. Halo Bollywood FTW!

Chori chori chupke chupke!!!

Anyway, here's a tribute to Benny Lava.

A Beautiful Poem

2010-03-31T16:03:00.000+08:00

"Shit Happens"

by Sh33na Y30h.

Suicidal: I've enough of this shit

Optimism: This shit won't happen to me

Cynicism: We are all full of shit

Baptism: We'll wash the shit right off you

Atheism: I don't believe this shit

Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah

Confucianism: Confucias say, "Shit Happens"

=========
My story:
Optimist -> Atheist -> Cynic -> Suicidal -> Baptist -> Confucian.

What's your story?

The Japanese Are Weird + Videogame NERD

2010-03-29T01:37:00.000+08:00

The Japanese are weird people.

Now don't ask how I found that video. Someone sent me the link, not I go and find one.

Some wisecrack on the Japanese Imperial Army:

The Gurkha only defeated Japs, who aren't really that hardcore. If they were running at me I would assume that Godzilla was behind them, and that would be why I ran.

I sneaked in 2 hours to play Call of Duty 5: World at War after watching the new TV series The Pacific. They put an interesting spin on the Pacific Theatre of War.

I never appreciated the beach landing mission until now. To think about it, it must've been really fucking scary to be waiting in anticipation in the marine carrier, with the destroyers shelling the hell out of the enemies on the beach, your amphibious transport shuttling you towards the beach, mortar and artillery fire exploding all around you, finally hit the beach, the ramp drops and you run out of the transport, only to find out that THE ENEMY ISN'T THERE AND HAS RETREATED INTO THE JUNGLE...

...and not retreating out of cowardice...

...but to draw you into the thick forest where they will sneak up on you and kill you.

NAIS.

Gosh I wish I was part of the Allied Expeditionary Force during D-Day making a beachlanding on Nazi-occupied Omaha Beach!

...or the US Marine Corps island hopping in the Pacific

...or Task Force 136 planning an attack on the Japanese Occupiers in the then Malaya.

Makes life much more meaningful fighting for something instead of always going to library to mug for exams.

Anyway, new xbox 360 game coming up soon!

2010-03-25T00:59:00.000+08:00

I don't think I can do this anymore.

5% retarded + babies + thanksmuch

2010-03-17T00:51:00.000+08:00

Oh look, I'm only 5% retarded! Yay!

Freaking hell too busy to go buy groceries for almost 3 weeks already. Or just freaking lazy to wake up early to go buy?

The last time I went to buy groceries was when my family drove down to Singapore (coz got car and my parents can pay for everything) so I bought quite a lot of stuff. But now I needa walk and lug the stuff and pay from my own NETS (coz Fairprice doesn't accept CitibankVisa) so I can't buy shitload of stuff.

I'm not weak. I'm just freaking lazy.

Solution? Buy me a car, Momma.

Then I can drive to Carrefour to stockpile food.

By getting a car, it also saves me money on public transport. Good justification, eh?

===========
I think babies are damn cute. Like taking their first passport photo.

Why so angsty?

Like some random baby animal looking all so wide-eyed and teary gonna burst out in squeals any time now. What the hell is that creature anyway?

How they get scared at uhm... scary things.

And how oblivious they are to the dangers of the world. Yeah, I'd also say that one of the dangers is RETARD PARENTS. Still can take photo somemore!

========
Really glad for all the people who were and are always there, who never judged, and genuinely cared.

I wish I showed you all more appreciation and how much I cared.

Thanks much.

Aww, no need to get all sentimental, yo!

Yeah right...

2010-03-14T02:17:00.000+08:00

As the old adage goes,

"You get what you put in" - by Anonymous wisecrack

Liar.

Another adage,

"Heck care" - by Anonymous wise man

Ah, this one I really gotta uphold.

On a random note, I need a sign-off catchphrase.

CommunityChannel's is "Your Mum Rates Me"

NigaHiga's is "Teehee"

What will The Persistently Nonsensical Blog's be?

pro-establishment sycophant + How to get a Suit

2010-03-13T01:31:00.000+08:00

I am a pro-establishment sycophant.

I do acknowledge that the current Government is not perfect. Yes they have done an awesome job. Though there are various rooms for improvements here and there, I will never want to see a change of government.

In countries with a huge population, they have optimum population for there to be two large opposing political parties e.g. Democrats, Republicans, Tories, Labour, blabla...

...but when you come from a country with a small population of 4.5 million, things are very different. And it is not to say that a country of 28 million has optimum population either.

Why would a new government do any better when everyone are all but human. No one is perfect. The same old selfishness and self-interest (if any) will arise even in a new government (think "Animal Farm"). Instead, implement REAL legislative safeguards, and not one that 'lacks teeth'. But that's besides the point...

I hate the idea of Revolution. What's up with kids these days, always saying 'BREAK FREE, REVOLUTION, BLABLA GOVERNMENT SUCKS LET'S VOTE OPPOSITION!!!'.

I'm not saying opposition members are bad. I'm just saying maintaining the establishment is better.

Perhaps better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.

Wow that was seriously damn random!
=========

How to get a Suit

There are two ways you can go about getting your own suit.

#1 Go to the tailor.

#2 Follow the steps below.

Step 1: Interview a controversial figure. Include controversial dialogues.

Step 2: Openly talk about it on a late show. Impute certain stereotypical characteristics on the said person.

Step 3: Misrepresent. Deliberately.

Step 4: Do other shit to get yourself noticed, because one sole incident will not get you a suit. You need to annoy a lot of people to elevate your status to a public figure so that people WILL be interested in suing you.

Bruno is a disgusting show. Funny at times, but mostly distasteful. Ali G and Borat were better.

Mac + RIboarding + USofA

2010-03-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

My Mac has been having problems. It's getting very slow. And my iPhoto lags a lot. Graphics keep tearing. All sorts of problems. But nehmind, I am not disappointed because I know it is not deliberately trying to disappoint me, but it's just that nothing is perfect.

Not even a Mac.

"Otherside" by RHCP is an awesome song. Was listening to it on the MRT and saw this sign. The song is so beauti-fuckingawesome-ful.

Went back to RI Boarding to visit my Malaysian friends. Gosh, so long never meet up with them. Though everyone appears the same lah... Same old, same old. Just taller and fatter.

Miss the old boarding blocks.

Ooooo, the nostalgia... Rafflesians saulte your alma mater!

Now on random stuff.

There are some Americans who fight for their country.

Makes you feel for them. Really looking forward to this HBO special. It's just gonna be like Band of Brothers. 101st Airborne FTW!

There are some Americans who parody their country's entertainment industry.

...and

There are some Americans who have seriously too much time on their hands.

The Many Ways to Execute The 'Suck It' Hand Gesture -- powered by Cracked.com

Douchebags.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

2010-03-07T03:16:00.000+08:00

Seriously, fuck Google Chrome's advertisement at the beginning of some YouTube videos.

The music is fucking annoying. Acting fucking cute.

What's up with the spinning thread shit.

Fuck off.

"I got myself in a masochistic hold"

2010-03-04T00:50:00.000+08:00

Started listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers again. Legendary.

One of my favourite song is 'Otherside'. It's so beauti-fuckingawesome-ful.

Another one. 'On Mercury'. Here's the original.

Love the chorus.

Anyway, it's coz of things like this, videogaming will always be here to stay.

Random photos

2010-02-27T00:38:00.000+08:00

Random photos time.

You mean people actually wanted to buy that cat?

Notice the pun "we don't clown around?". When I noticed it, first thing that came to mind was DEFAMATION!!! But maybe not lah...

Okay back to s216A and Fundamental Liberties.

Sound logic, eh?

2010-02-22T01:44:00.000+08:00

1. God made woman out of one of Adam's ribs.
2. Women are glorified ribs.
3. Ribs are delicious.
4. Delicious things are meant to be eaten.
5. Women should be eaten.

Anyway, I want to buy Bioshock 2. But got no time to play.

The Mighty Mouse is indeed MIGHTY

2010-02-11T14:11:00.000+08:00

...and on the third week, it rose again. It ascended back into service, and is seated at the right hand of the Mac user.

My wireless Mighty Mouse is working perfectly fine again! Apparently the Mighty Mouse has self-regenerating powers. TAKE THAT, PC USERS!

For 3 weeks, I was without a Mighty Mouse. I resorted to using a cheap $10 optical mouse, which many people said was THE BEST INVESTMENT IN THE WORLD. Gosh you guys...

One day a very charitable Mac user, who bought a wired Mighty Mouse but never brought herself to try it out, decided to give me her Mighty Mouse to me for FREE!!! Zero consideration!

Oh well, who am I to complain.

So now I have three mice.

I will use my wireless Mighty Mouse and keep the wired Mighty Mouse just in case shit happens again.

Shopping for Aeroplanes

2010-02-09T16:56:00.000+08:00

Went to the Airshow to buy aeroplanes.

Saw the F35 JSF. Placed an order for this. It's awesome coz they are developing the VTOL type which can take off vertically from my lawn. Don't need a runway to lift off. And it's stealth so it's gonna be good when I wanna kill Donkey.

This is how the engine of the F35 looks like from side view.

The Apache Longbow. Also placed an order for this.

Saw the F16, but wasn't so keen coz it is normal take off. My house doesn't have the space for a runway.

The F16's asshole.

The F111 is really old and bulky... And the F35 is enough to kill Donkey. Don't needa overkill with the F111.

Ah, this is the USAF C-130. I asked the crew whether I can buy this and outfit it to be an AC-130 and he said yes. Will probably consider buying this in time to come so I can strategically eliminate many many Donkeys.

Inside some transport plane. Nah, I'd rather just use my own private jet. This doesn't look comfortable.

A refuelling jet. Probably need it when I kill Donkeys overseas with my F15 (bought 2).

Found this helicopter. It's small. But look at its armament. Nasty. Probably buy this for my kids to play with.

And here, behold! The legendary F15!!! This is what I came for.

Since good things come in pairs, I decided to buy two F15s - one for myself and one for my future wife. So we can bomb Donkey together.

Bought a private jet for my parents.

The Predator Drone is actually much larger than I ever thought! Will fit it with Hellfire missiles to kill Donkey.

Later on, I saw a bunch of VIPs checking out the simulator for my jet. I neh give them permission to use, but nehmind lah share and care hor...

Hey there Delilah!

Saw the Russian Sukhoi, but they weren't selling any planes there. I wanted to get a Su-30 but too bad... Nehmind, my F35 and 2 X F15s are already more than enough.

Here's a model of a Su-30 that I wanna get.

Dunno what Sukhoi fighter is this.

This kid was trying to do weights. Probably in a few years' time I can hire him to be my crewman.

Saw the poster of the Malaysian aerospace magazine 'Perajurit'. A Su-30 flying over a Malaysian town.

Apparently Starhub also is investing in the aerospace industry.

The Borg and crew of the Starship Enterterprise came to buy some jets too. I was wondering why would they wanna buy primitive aircraft when they are so freaking advanced!!!

Then came the air display. The RSAF put on an impressive show with the F16. You cans ee the F16 coming in from the right. ***Cue music Ride of the Valkyries***

They showcased some awesome sharp turns.

Then a bird thought it can challenge the F16 so it decided to face the F16 head on.

So the F16 decided to show force. Pwned the bird.

Next, the RSAF displayed its Apache. The Apache and F16 flew side by side, within metres of each other.

This guy had a Stinger missile. NAIS.

The Apache showcasing its vertical maneuver.

The F16 spiralling up into the sky. This scene was freaking awesome.

Next, the USAF's A-10 "Warthog". I was really looking forward to see this jet and was satisfied that I got to saw it. Heard so much about this jet. I really want one so I can effectively kill Donkey.

Next, the Koreans showcased their T-50 Golden Eagle. The contrails were awesome!

Try spotting the Golden Eagle in the clouds!

Next, we went to the ST Engineering exhibition. Got to hold a SAR 21A Holographic with front grip. I would really much like to see SAR21s and/or its variants in Modern Warfare 3. In MW2, they have TAR21, not SAR21.

Holding the SAR21.

Holding some gun I can't remember the name.

Then I saw this grenade launcher. Its munitions explode in the air. Awesome technology.

Since it can detect range, I was thinking that next time, I shall buy this for my son(s) instead of a telescope or binoculars. 2-in-1: binoculars, and can kill Donkey.

What I want for Chinese New Year

2010-02-05T01:39:00.000+08:00

After my Mighty Mouse fell into coma, I had long quarrels and heated discussions with non-Mac Believers on how I should move on.

It was really painful to see my Mighty Mouse fall and break into three pieces. Like a clumsy parent, I didn't hold my baby in my arms securely, carelessly let the small fragile baby fall down, concussing it's head and falling into coma.

[wow I spent five seconds recalling the sequence of events and a whiff of emotion swept onto me]

Yeah yeah with $80 I can buy 8 X $10 optical mice...

...but no amount of optical mouse can replace The Mighty Mouse.

If your child dies, will you settle for 8 other adopted children?

I sure hope my mum doesn't adopt some other kid just to replace me should anything happen (btw, I miss home).

So, in moving on, I was considering getting the Magic Mouse and the Apple Wireless Keyboard. Want the wireless keyboard coz the Logitech one I'm using now is very noisy and not very responsive.

Here's how the Magic Mouse look like.

The Apple Wireless Keyboard.

How they look so awesome as siblings.

...but nothing can ever replace my Mighty Mouse.

In fact, when my white Macbook had a stroke (read: crashed), I borrowed my friend's silver Macbook which is undoubtedly more advanced. But it never felt the same. I missed its relative bulkiness, feel of the touch pad and keyboard, weight, and everything else.

Maybe I'm an overly sentimental guy who treats my IT gadgets with high regard and respect, such that I fell into shock when my Mighty Mouse fell (yeah, I was stunned for like 5 seconds and didn't know what to say or do).

I borrowed a DSLR from my friend recently and she said 'Take care of my baby!' so I guess I'm not the only one who feels strongly for their electronics.

Regardless whether you're a guy or girl, do not treat your IT and electronics lightly. Hell yeah you can always buy a cheaper gadget to replace one that you lost, but how can you just do that so easily? Don't you have any respect for that which you just lost?

Haha.

It makes things more painful for me to know that the Magic Mouse and Apple Wireless Keyboard costs $98 EACH, which will make it a total of $196. I could use my ang pow money to pay for it just as I bought my iPod Nano, LCD monitor, two crumplers, and other stuff in the past...

...but my friends do have a point.

Pay so much for something so advanced, but drop from table break so easily.

Can drop the cui $10 optical mouse and it wouldn't even break (but that's because it is such a simple technology)

Pain... Don't twist the knife any more. But they really do have a point.

It's very painful to see my comatose Mighty Mouse lying there on my study table.

Pain + Locked In

2010-02-02T22:07:00.000+08:00

Eyeball damn painful. Maybe it's about time my eyesight starts to fail. But well, I can still see perfectly well, just damn painful.

Momma always say "You play so much videogames, you eyesight will turn bad very soon!". Well, I've been playing computer games and videogames since like 5 years old but HELL YEAH, MY EYESIGHT IS STILL PERFECT.

Painful ≠ bad

I can so hear Momma saying "So, justified lah!"

Yup. Justified.

=====
I have awesome apartment mates. When my room doorknob broke leaving me locked in my room, they helped me pry it open to get me out, while I nicely played Gears of War 2 in my room.

Gears of War 2 is about:

Courtesy.

Chainsawing your enemy.

Epic scenery and awesome graphics.

Intense battles.

Teamwork.

Futile moments where you scream "OH F*CK ME!"

...and most importantly,

...getting to chainsaw your fellow man.

Gore of War

2010-01-31T22:34:00.000+08:00

...and this is why we have xbox 360. God bless America.

Gosh I miss this game.

Need. My. Dog. To. Play. Horde. Again.

The Wizard of Oz Got Served

2010-01-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

Watch this video with your speaker volume turned up. Good stuff!!!

Amazing.

And so are the state of affairs.

Don't trust you

2010-01-25T22:57:00.000+08:00

You trust someone a lot. Then you realise that you've been the biggest fool all this while.

Suck thumb.

Wan2 suck thumb also cannot coz sore thumb.

I also want

2010-01-25T01:35:00.000+08:00

Though I never played a single game from the Final Fantasy franchise, after watching this trailer, HELL YEAH I wanna play.

Anyway,

Need. To. Play. Modern Warfare 2. AGAIN.

It is not a videogame. It is a 5 hour interactive action movie in HD.

Think deep deep become angsty

2010-01-24T01:24:00.000+08:00

There are a lot of times when we make decisions that felt so damned good and right; we can't imagine ourselves not doing something. Feel like it's a calling, that we want it so badly.

Then soon enough we realise that this isn't really what we want. That we can spend our time better and more productively towards something else.

And we wish that we could turn back time and undo that decision. But heck no.

Then today I am presented with the opportunity of opting out of something. Faced with the dilemma that this is something I've wanted to do for so long, but also have the inherent fear that I could be spending my efforts better.

Before I am presented with the same questions, I want to find the answer to it. Whether or not I make the same decision, at least I made an informed choice; knowing that the same problems will occur and that I willingly chose this path...

...so that when hard times come, I will know how to deal with it.

In addition to that, there is one issue that has been bugging me for months now. Don't really know what to do about it.

Besides that, there's another issue that has been haunting me recently. This one I know what I needa do... It's damn disappointing.

======
Aiyah think deep deep then more stress then more angst then never study. Then go and blog and start thinking deep deep somemore. Then lead to more and more thoughts.

Just suck thumb.

Anger Management

2010-01-21T23:27:00.000+08:00

Poor anger management is the cause for many health complications, such as:

Premature balding
High blood pressure
Sterility
Pimples

...and many more.

There are many ways of countering excessive and unnecessary angst. One of the many is:

JUST DON'T ANGST. SUCK IT UP AND SHUT UP!!!

...oh shucks, that was angsty.

Angsty at being angsty. Clearly, this is a cause for concern.

Anyway, here's one of the best stories from Barney.

Cripled for life

2010-01-18T23:35:00.000+08:00

Mighty Mouse is crippled for life now... After a few days, it succumbed to the injuries of the fall.
Don't really know what to do with the mouse. No heart to throw it away - too sad to see it go. But keep for what - just waste space. But it's freaking $80 and is damn useful while it lasted.

Dammit.

...and on the next day, it rose again

2010-01-15T19:11:00.000+08:00

I managed to repair my Mighty Mouse!

This might me blesphemous but this is the first thought that came to mind:

"...and on the third day He rose again, and is seated at the right hand of the Father"

In all manner of entertainment and not at all one bit to insult or blaspheme my religion (by birth not practice), I compose this post.

Adapted from the Apostles' Creed:
I believe in Apple, the IT Almighty, Creator of Macbooks and iPods and in Mighty Mouse, the only mouse, my mouse; which was used by Saint Paul the Yap, born of the Momma Yap, dropped the mouse which was cracked, died, and was useless. It descended to the dead. On the next day it rose again. It ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Macbook user. I believe in not giving up, trying to repair your own broken things in life, the resurrection of the broken things, and Apple everlasting.

Apple.

The original Apostles' Creed:

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord; Who was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, who suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended to the dead; on the third day He rose again; He ascended into Heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He shall come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting.

Amen.

=======
The Apostle's Creed, Our Father, Hail Mary, and all the mass thingies are so ingrained I can just recite it out anytime. Maybe the law school should make us recite legal doctrines again and again so we can remember it by heart.

Legal Rosary?
Hail your Honour, full of Grace, the Law is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst legal practitioners, and blessed is the fruit of thy hardwork, Judgments. Your Honour, learned of the Law, pray for us private practitioners now, and at the hour of our litigation. Amen.

Adapted from:
Hail Mary full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Our Chief Justice?
Our Chief Justice who art in the Court of Appeal, hallowed be thy tenure. Thy jurisdiction come, thy judgment be done, on Earth as it is in the Judiciary. Give us this day our daily judgments, and forgive us of our trespasses. Do not bring us to the prison, but deliver us from evil.

Adapted from:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us of trespasses. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Obituary + Expectations

2010-01-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

Bloody hell my Apple Mighty Mouse fell and it broke. It is not working now.

$80... Well, it was good having it while it lasted...

Farewell Mighty Mouse. June 2008 - January 2010. You will be dearly missed.

I don't know when I will find a new mouse as good as you, or should I just move on to the Magic Mouse.

==========
Anyway, to my previous post, thanks to those who replied! Yeah I agree with you guys that freedom of religion and stuff is to be protected. I read today something called 'apparent bias' in Constitutional Law and this can be easily used against the Muslim Government in this matter.

I guess my contention arose coz I just don't like how people like to slam the Government when I bet that the Opposition will not do any better.

Anyway, expectations are best met when you don't expect anything at all.

Don't be quick to politicize

2010-01-12T01:30:00.000+08:00

Malaysians ought not to be quick to politicize things.

The recent attacks against the Catholic Churches in Malaysia is one problem in itself, and another is that some people are politicizing it.

The entire issue about the use of 'Allah' in Bibles or during readings in Mass has raised a lot of disgruntlement amongst the Muslim community. The Courts ruled in favour of the Catholic weekly publication The Herald for the use of the word 'Allah'. Ensuing that, we saw several attacks against Catholic (and surprisingly some Protestant) churches as well.

This is surely an issue to condemn. Yes it is bad. SCREW YOU BELLIGERENTS. I may not be a staunch Catholic but if you dare hurt my family I will go down and fuck you up.

...but another thing that bugs me is how some people are quick to say that "Oh the ruling Government is discriminating against the Catholics in Sabah and Sarawak who have been using the word Allah blabla yaddayadda...".

I really don't see the relevance of slamming any political party because this disgruntlement within the society is a religious one. The Government is against allowing Catholic media from using 'Allah' because they are Muslims, not because of their political alignment.

It would be preposterous if the Opposition and her supporters say things such as "The Catholic voters in Sabah and Sarawak have been supporting the Government and now the Government doesn't want to preserve their religious practice." The Catholic voters voted the Government based on their political agenda. The Government owes nothing to these Catholic voters with regard to the use of the word 'Allah'. What the Government owes is fulfilling its campaign promises. These are two completely separate issues.

It's like voting me into office after I say I wanna do this and that for the Law School, then later you ask me for my iPhone, justifying it by saying "I voted for you".

Next is saying "If the Government continues doing this, I will vote for the Opposition next time." Okay you might gather that I am Pro-Government. But to be precise, I am just Anti-Opposition - I don't believe in a dual-party system. I LOVE single-dominant party system because Malaysians and Singaporeans are generally not politically educated enough to have such a system in Parliament. That aside, the more pertinent issue is that there will be elements within the Opposition who, if held office in the Government, will do the exact same thing. It is easy for the Opposition to say that "Yeah we condemn this stand. How could the Government do such a thing!!! Abhorrent!!!"

Put any Muslim in power, Opposition or otherwise, the same thing will result.

I am not discriminating against any Muslims. My opinion and regard towards Muslims will not change for the worse. This issue is one closely held to one's Faith and I have no intention in challenging it. The focus of this commentary is to share my observations about how some Malaysians politicize this issue.

My point is that the Government's prohibition against the use of the word 'Allah' stems from it being predominantly Muslim, not because of any political alignment.

Don't be quick to politicize any issue.

New Year Resolution

2010-01-06T00:49:00.001+08:00

I think I know what my New Year Resolution is. Well, a bit late though... but better late than never.

I need a better way of living.

Nightmare

2010-01-05T02:41:00.000+08:00

Had a nightmare that I was being kidnapped by this psycho woman who for dunno what reason tried to kidnap me and drag me into a yellow sports car.

So while I was being dragged, in which I was very helpless against some monster of a psycho woman she is, I had a butcher knife. As I was being dragged, I thought "Hey I better find a way to leave clues as to where I was being dragged". I had a butcher knife with me and so I thought I shall chop off my foot... as in amputate. This will leave an awful trail of blood so that people can follow the trail and rescue me.

Then I can't remember what happened next, but somehow I managed to escape. Some friends rescued me but they weren't able to catch the psycho woman.

So we devised a plan to catch the psycho woman.

We know that she wants to kidnap me. So we put me up as bait again. And somehow my foot grew back perfectly fine.

Soon enough, she did kidnap me again. This time, I decided to chop my left hand to leave that awful trail of blood, but I missed and chopped my palm instead so it wasn't an amputation nor a clean cut. I can remember so vividly seeing the huge cut in my left palm. The gash ran halfway horizontally through my palm such that you can see the finger bones protruding out.

Then she started dragging me to the yellow sports car again...

...and then...

...ALARM CLOCK RING.

Phew.

In that nightmare, it seemed so logical to amputate my foot coz #1 it will leave an awful trail of blood, #2 policemen sometimes shoot a hostage at non-vital bodyparts to slow down the captor so by doing this I slow the psycho woman down too.

But now I realised... I had the butcher knife, why didn't I just cut that woman in self-defense? Maybe I'll meet her tonight. I'll be prepared.

========
I noticed I have nightmares when the room is too cold, or when my blanket somehow falls off. I remember when I was awakened by my alarm, I started shivering like a mad dog.

Was I shivering because of the cold, or the fright? The air-conditioning was at its normal 25 degrees.

And my left palm was damn pain for some reason.

In any case, morbid dreams are never good.

For what + 2010 + Jambi '09

2010-01-03T02:32:00.000+08:00

If you don't want me to give a damn, then just let me know not to give a damn so we can all move on.

It makes my life much easier if I am told expressly not to give a damn. We can agree on so many things, make everything look smooth, but then decide to do otherwise or fail to do certain things when the time comes.

And then make me look like a fool when I decide to give a damn.

Well, I guess it's volenti non fit injuria. I asked for it.

==========
Other than that, Happy New Year everybody!

Dr. Papa Yap's toast was meaningful.

Didn't manage to kill wild boars in Sumatra, but learned NS songs from the Pink ICs.

Honestly, I really cannot imagine the ORD guys defending the nation and killing the enemy. I can imagine my current batchmates though, but not my RI/RJC batchmates.

Maybe it's coz we did too many cockster stuff that we're always boys (not men) to each other.

Blabla yaddayadda time flies too fast whatever lah blogging is boring these days...

I wanna eat McDonner now...

Merry Christmas

2009-12-30T21:30:00.001+08:00

A bit late though...

But anyway, Merry Christmas. Watch this video.

Jack Bauer Interrogates Santa! - watch more funny videos

Can't sleep

2009-12-19T06:09:00.000+08:00

I need to realize that asking all the questions in the world won't change a thing.

==========

A lot of things to update about... But sian lah... Like I always believe, it's sad to let my friends know about what's happening in my life through my blog.

Working on the upcoming story "Delta Squad v Zhu Ba Jie". It's stuff like these that makes blogging worth it. Been running out of ideas on what to blog.

The last talk cock story which I enjoyed composing was like 10 months ago. A tribute to LawPlayStageManager.

Medal of LawPlay: Airborne

Anyway, on a completely unrelated note, this video is awesome.

Nonsense.

Seriously, WTF.

And I love this song a lot. Really nice melody. Lyrics is sad though...

Issues by The Saturdays

The music video is very lame though... Showing 5 hot chicks (yeah, they're hot) but you don't like a song because the singers are hot.

Anyway, FANBOY TIME.

The Halo series is the best videogame series ever.

Just watched the new Halo animes released recently.

The Package - Part 1

The Package - Part 2

Played Halo 3 on Legendary difficulty on system link the other day. 3 guys screaming vulgarities every few seconds coz keep getting killed (FREAKING SNIPERS ONE SHOT ONE KILL). But fun. NAIS.

It's been 2 years since the release of Halo 3 yet it is still an awesome game. Better than its expansion Halo 3 ODST.

Operation Wild Boar Hunting

2009-12-16T02:31:00.001+08:00

The enemy.

T-minus 4 days.

Anyhow kena scolded

2009-11-29T02:10:00.000+08:00

Can't sleep again. This is freaking bad. I need to be able to fall asleep easily to prepare for Mondays' paper.

I shall go for a run tomorrow night so I'll be tired and will sleep like a log. Hopefully not until I can't wake up on Monday morning.

Cannot sleep so decided to come out and do work.

...but not before watching some Hell's Kitchen.

This guy scolds people like how I drink water.

Some guy tries to nut up and face Ramsay head on.

But there can be times when he can be really motivating.

Doing your own thing, then suddenly kena scolded and cursed at.

Then again, the situation whereby a 'subordinate' anyhow kena scoldded by their 'superior' sounds awfully familiar!

On a similar note, Ramsay's approach sounds very much like one of my mentor's. Being curt and impolite to create this aura of fear and reverence. But at the end of it all, we realise that he's actually a great mentor.

Perhaps, just perhaps, that mentor of mine loves watching Hell's Kitchen.

========
On a separate note, sometimes you wonder what you did to deserve certain things. Like when you've done all that was needed to be done under certain circumstances, all that is and was right, all that was reasonably expected, all to make things good, yet things still go awry.

What did I do to deserve this.

It's like you're just doing your thing, then anyhow kena scolded by Gordon Ramsay.

What did I do? Or did not do?

Meh.

Oh look, a nuclear explosion! + What's up?

2009-11-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

Somehow the iPhone camera can't capture intense light clearly or whatsoever... so got this cool effect. Sunset looks like a giant bomb explosion.

========
In the middle of exam week. I don't think I did too well for FA.

Anyway, lemme tell you the reactions of students from other schools when they hear that us law students need to do FA.

"Lawyers do FA for f*ck?"

"Why do lawyers need to learn accounting? Even if you guys know, what you learn in FA is too elementary to be of any practical use!"

"Then what are they training me for?" (by Unknown Accountancy Student)

And the reaction I heard from students from other local universities:

"You got FA? You need Financial Asssistance izzit?"

"How was your F&A paper...seriously what the f*ck you all needa do F&A for?"

...I'm glad it's over. You know, it's sad that people are glad this module is over. It only highlights the fact that people DREAD it. Of course we will do our best to score - but we're doing it only for the sake of our grades, with a small part of learning.

Duly reflected my sentiments in the term review.

===========
As for the other modules... LawOfBizOrg was a pain. For the first hour, I was struggling... to stay awake. Didn't help that my cotton sweater was so comfortable. PropertyLaw was okay... One final paper on Monday. ComparativeLegalStudies, otherwise known as Legal GP 203.

Really wanna get the hell out of this place for a change. It is sickening. No it is not the shithole that I am living in - I am complaining about my residence only because I can but honestly I have become fond of this place. It is the fact that our lives are all heading towards establishing a career...

...that from now until I retire, I have to keep working my ass off.

...that upon graduation, I needa find accommodation on my own, and find a job ASAP.

...that upon pupillage, I will need to learn the tools of the trade, to compete in the corporate world, and secure a good portfolio in 5 years.

It is not that I am unhappy with life. I'm really glad for all that I have. But there must be something greater than all of this. I can't accept 'destiny' to be just heading down the corporate path.

A career is a means to an end. I still don't know what that end is.

=======
Anyway, I love this song. The lyrics don't make sense, neither does the video. But the sound, melody and whatever is just awesome...

FA + LTA

2009-11-21T12:21:00.000+08:00

Gosh, I really really hate FA with all my heart and soul.

It really doesn't help that my friends from other schools ask "Law students do FA for f*ck?!". Hell, I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more.

When I'm doing FA, I can hear screeching and ringing in my head. I keep asking myself WHY AM I DOING THIS.

It's not that I can't do it (maybe...), but with all the other stuff happening, why should one be graded on a primer course which has negligible effects on our career?

Think long term. Seriously, how much would this help.

If you really wanna think long term, take up a second degree or major. Primers/Uni Cores are NOT the way to go.

============
You know you've been reading too much Property Law when you read "LTA" as the "Land Titles Act", and not the "Land Transport Authority" when it comes to road maps.

Google Maps with LTA data.

I'd rather be given more Property Law stuff than FA.

There must be a way out of this + The American War Machine

2009-11-20T23:56:00.000+08:00

I wanna get the hell out of this place right now.

Need. A. Break. From. This. Congested. City.

So many people, but who the hell cares.

=======
Okay what ima talk about next is something which I believe I have no standing to say coz hell, I'm not even from that country nor do I even know what's actually happening there. I do understand the various anti-war sentiments of the US Marines and soldiers fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq. Nonetheless, let's just take the following few videos for their entertainment value.

...and finally,

Reserved seating

2009-11-18T01:04:00.001+08:00

Seats reserved for the following people: the elderly, the pregnant, the injured, and the paedophiles.

Well, at least that's one way to identify the paedophiles.

Quotable Quotes

2009-11-16T20:18:00.000+08:00

QUOTE #1:

"It's not that I don't have time. I really JUST DON'T CARE AT ALL!!!" by Eric Cartman.

Watch Southpark S13 Ep 11 "Whale Whores". Awesome stuff.

QUOTE #2:
"I'm going to burn my FA notes, past quizzes, and past exercises" by Angsty FA Student

Gosh, I pity that guy man... Must've been going through a tough time. How I wish he was like me - so patient when it comes to doing FA.

I hope he learns that FA is not about accounting per se, but character-building. It trains your tenacity and patience in learning something which is utterly useless...

...I mean, it's good to have a multidisciplinary education. So that, hypothetically, lawyers may save up on the client's money by doing his own accounting instead of hiring a full-fledged, licensed professional accountant. Likewise, accountants should read some law so that they can make educated guesses about the law so as to reduce the need for hiring legal counsel.

Seriously, why pay someone when you can do it yourself. Of course, the state of the law and accounting principles will not change in the next few decades, which is why our cursory knowledge from these primer modules are going to help us a long way.

QUOTE #3:
"F*ck you, understand" by NSmen.

In preparation for the NS Jamboree, my good friends who served 2 years in the army taught me some lingo to connect with the ORD people... pink ICs... whatchamacallit.

Of course the occasion to use it did not arise. But it's always good to have a weapon... Just like how it's always good to have a ready army, which is the reason why some countries have NS to begin with.

============
Today (Monday) was a day of discoveries. Learned FA for once. Learned not to trust some people.

Most importantly, I learned this new song today:

Training to be soldiers,
Fighting for our land,
Once in our life,
Two years of our time...

...and I forgot the rest.

Ah yes, now is the best time for you guys to use quote #3 on me

Coke Zero is bad + Parody of Paranormal Activity

2009-11-13T01:37:00.000+08:00

Coke Zero 2 - 0 Paul

Dementia and Alzheimer's

mabe: why u drink coke zero!

me: i thought coke ZERO = ZERO sugar mah!!!

mabe: but is has artificial sweetened = bad for the brain

...

mabe: ASPARTAME causes dementia/Alzheimer's.

So, I just increased the risk of dementia and Alzheimer's. Actually, sometimes I think I already have mild dementia. Anyway, this still not so bad.

Leakage
Was having dinner. Took out my laptop to surf the net. Noticed that my bag was wet. Checked my bag and found out that the freaking Coke Zero bottle was leaking - apparently I didn't close it tight enough.

My crumpler was wet. My laptop case was wet. My pencil case was drenched.

My neck tie was drenched, and somehow there were ink stains on it too.

...and most importantly,

My stack of foolscap is destroyed, together with my Property Law notes. Lucky I have them in soft copy.

Asked the waiter for serviettes. He just looked at my wet stack of stuff and shook his head. Then he went away. Awhile later, his colleague came to me and asked "Sir, what did you request for from the other waiter? Sorry, he's new and doesn't really speak English".

Apparently the first waiter didn't understand what I was saying and just thought that I was telling him a story about how the hell I got my entire bag wet. Gosh, why the hell would I be telling you random stranger.

So, by warped logic, Coke Zero not only increases the risk of dementia/Alzheimer's, it also may cause your bag, notes, neck tie, and laptop to get wet.

==========
Watch this parody of Paranormal Activity

SEXUAL ACTIVITY - Movie Spoof - watch more funny videos

Good shit.

==========
On a side note, I wonder how long this will last.

meh.

Paranormal Activity + own room

2009-11-10T12:52:00.001+08:00

Paranormal Activity was supposed to be THE horror movie of this season. Was waiting in anticipation to watch it. Sadly, it wasn't really that great.

Motion sickness. The shaky camera was annoying. Felt like puking.

Storyline. Quite lame and predictable.

But I have to give credit to it coz some scenes were HOLY SHIT CREEPY!!!

Like the part where she says "I think it's here. I can feel it breathing" and then you see her hair blown.

The part when she's sleeping, and suddenly the zha bor gets dragged on the floor and pulled out into the corridor.

The ouija board moving by itself, and catching fire.

The part where she wakes up in the middle of the night and stares at him.
...and my favourite part...

The zha bor says "Everything is going to be OKAY", and when she said 'okay', you could hear another deep nasal voice.

NAIS!!!

At each scene, my reaction was like WHOA SHIT!!! But looking at the overall movie, it wasn't really that great.

Still, for the effects, it's worth watching in the cinema. Of course everything isn't perfect, so just take it for what it is.

=========
I really want a single room. I want to be able to talk on the phone in comfort, to blast my music on my 2.1 stereo speakers, I want my own bigass study table, I want to be able to put my 19-inch LCD monitor to play videogames and connect my laptop to do work, and not having to clean it up even if my friends and family visit me.

COZ IT'S MY ROOM.

I love it how I have my own bigass room back home in KL, with my own toilet, my own queen-sized bed, my favourite rocking chair, a hugeass table, TV to play videogames, large enough to accommodate 5 people sleeping there, and can have TEH parties.

Well, I don't expect to get a room as huge as mine in KL, but for now, I just want my own single room.

Oh, and I want to be able to drive too. Have to wait until my parents drive down to Singapore, or until I go back to KL.

Been living in hostel since Sec 1. Been having roommates for 8 years. It's not that I don't like them (Many of my best friends are from hostel), but I just want to have my own space.

Now, when invite friends over, I needa get 'permission' from my roommate, check whether he doesn't mind. Of course he has a right to refuse, but you see, why do I even have to go through this added hassle.

My mum said if I wanted to, I can go look for a place on my own. I'm eyeing Rivervalley... but I don't think paying $900 a month on rental is going to be worth it. Right now, staying in hostel is really manageable... can tahan... It's just that I'm being a brat.

I can't wait for the day when I start working, get my own pay, choose my own house, have my own space, and don't let my mum worry whether I am living in a shithole or not.

In fact, how I wish that KL-Singapore intercity travel wouldn't be so long. Haha.

To say that I wish my family were living in Singapore would be going too far... Coz I know they would be happier in KL.

I guess we can't get the best of both worlds.

Badass!!!

2009-11-06T01:26:00.000+08:00

Awesome shit!!!

11.10.09.

November 10th 2009.

I guess I'm not gonna quit playing videogames afterall.

God Bless America for creating the xbox 360!

Gosh. You see an American suburb under attack. You see the International Space Station (presumably) being blown up. You see British SAS invading some castle.

Best. Shit. In. Videogaming History.

Ever.

Expectations

2009-11-05T20:42:00.000+08:00

When I was young , I used to be very temperamental. Like a brat, I always argued with my mum. After that, I'd always feel damn shitty, asking myself why the hell did I even argue with her. Once I came to Singapore, I never argued with my mum coz maybe I just grew up. I certainly hated the feeling of making her angry.

In the past few years, I've had lotsa nightmares that I get into uber heated arguments with people I care, making them upset over what I've said and/or done. And I'm damn glad that it's only a nightmare coz it did not actually happen. Everytime after such nightmares, I'd be so happy seeing them, knowing that I did not screw up anything.

There were also several times when I got into heated argument with friends. The feeling of wanting to tell them off felt so.... gratifying.

Recently, I've found myself expecting so much.

But then I realised how petty I can be a lot of times. Mostly due to my own high expectations making me easily disappointed by their acts or omissions. No one owes us a 'duty of care', if I may say so.

And what the hell, why am I being so petty.

Friends are there to have fun with us, talk cock, share our experiences, complaints, and to keep us company. But when they are not there for us in our shitty times, we tend to feel disappointed even though they did nothing wrong.

I guess it's normal to expect so. When you're beaten down, it's not that you can't carry on by your own. Neither do you want sympathy. You just want friends to be there to understand what you're going through.

But it's selfish to expect people to do things for you. Being frustrated over things is just gonna make things shittier for everyone.

It's better to let go of certain expectations.

It's not worth sacrificing something valuable for just a brief moment of self-indulgence and gratification.

I don't want to see that look of disappointment on people's faces after I've said anything wrong to them.

=========
As I was typing this, my boss just told me how disappointed she is that barely anyone (but me) replies to her emails!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Jennifer's Acting

2009-11-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

Stupid storyline. But cute acting by Amanda Seyfried, and even more awesomely scary acting by Megan Fox.

She look like an intelligent zombie from Left 4 Dead or something...
Caption: Succubus Nutcase crowned Prom Queen.

The best part of the show was the Kitchen Scene. Really some awesome shit. Jennifer just standing there in the dark, body all bloodied, smiling.

Wasn't able to find that photo, so this comes closest to it. Makes you feel like going up to her, hug her, and say "Don't worry, everything's gonna be okay..."

Caption: WARAO! Why you pour red paint on me?

The ending was too abrupt. Should've made Jennifer come back to life to fight off her friend. Awesome catfight.

Great Expectations + Greatest Vampire Movie Ever

2009-10-31T00:49:00.000+08:00

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want.

Yeah yeah some of you guys are gonna say 'Wow Paul is quoting from the Bible'.

Thanks to Kahn the Wise Man.

============
Anyway, I recalled that I had a freaking nightmare about the best vampire movie ever: An Interview with the Vampire (1994). Starring Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, and Kirsten Dunst when they were all younger.

AWESOME.

The feeling of longing, frustration of a damned life, adaptation... In my nightmare, I wasn't the victim of a vampire, but the vampire himself.

That nightmare caused me to wake up an hour before my alarm clock was to wake me up. Couldn't recall what the dream was about, but I just had an overwhelming feeling of fear and loneliness. Took me the entire day to recall what the dream was about.

How did I recall what the dream was about? Coz I wanted to watch a horror movie so badly, somehow I just recalled the best vampire movie I ever watched and voila, I managed to recall my nightmare.

I'd have to say it was an awesome nightmare though... Just as how awesome the movie was.

Loved the beginning. Loved the middle. Love how it never seems to end. Love the ending.

Rent it. Buy it. Do whatever it takes to watch it.

How do you know you're Singaporean?

2009-10-27T01:43:00.000+08:00

You know you are a tad bit closer to being a Singaporean when:

#1 While driving, you feel weird seeing the other cars' number plates do no start with S and end with a letter, such as SXX 1234 M

#2 When parking, you naturally reverse park

#3 When parking, you think that those people who don't reverse park are weird

==========
Anyway, today I realised how easy Malaysia can just cross the border into Singapore to invade it.

Oh wait, here's another one:

#4 You know you are a tad closer to being Singaporean when you can imagine yourself being the pilot in a F-15SG attack aircraft bombing the hell out of Johor Bahru!!!

FLASH MOBS!!! AWESOME!!!

2009-10-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

The Belgians had this idea of a flash mob, over 200 dancers from various ages to perform "Do Re Mi" from the Sound of Music.

It's freaking awesome!!!

Singapore caught up with the idea and did the same at Raffles Place just this Friday 23 October 2009, in between Chevron House and UOB Plaza, the grass patch above Raffles Place MRT.

The Japanese also did a flash mob act. Awesome.

:)

2009-10-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

I've never felt happier in weeks.

======
Gosh, the above sentence sounds like some freaking emo secondary school girl who just heard the song 'I Never Had A Dream Come True' after something good happened to her.

But really, I feel happy.

K lah whatever...

Moving on to random cockster stuff.

Here's a geek tribute to 911.

iPain

2009-10-19T10:24:00.000+08:00

My eyeballs hurt like crazy. I feel like gorging them out.

Sakae Sushi lights, bright sunlight, badminton hall lights, laptop and handphone screen, reading under proper lighting also pain...

...but not when I play xbox360!

When you're having fun, nothing is painful.

Hmph... that sounds potentially so wrong.

Anyway, here's some parody about Batman. Awesome performance by the Joker.

Grrr growl murmur bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhunhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Translation: This video is awesome!!!

And here's to all my dear PC users

Get a Mac.

And gosh, I fucking hate FA.

Poker face

2009-10-17T12:14:00.001+08:00

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

RAJIV & JULIAN AIN'T GOT NO HONOUR

2009-10-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

#1 Took damn long to climb down the mountain
...and a Malaysian civilian who never served in the army came down with no aches, sprinted up the final slope while carrying a 110 litre backpack, 1 hour 20 minutes before R&J...

...and still dare say I am not man enough for not serving in the SINGAPORE army.

#2 Real men don't kope other men's balls
Played pool on Friday night. 1 v 2 (tag-team). I broke the table and 2 solid balls went in. I missed the next shot. Those buggers nicely shot in a solid ball afterwards.

As much as they have the right to do so, gosh, real men don't kope other men's balls. Real men play pool with HONOUR. They will take stripe when their opponent puts in 2 solid upon breaking the table.

============

...help me with Financial Accounting. Gosh I fucking hate FA.

Hell Week 2: The Attack of the 3 Law Modules

2009-10-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

How the hell did this land in my apartment?
Must be some arsehole threw it through the window.

Likewise, how the hell did I land in this position?

On a completely separate note, Hell Week 2 is over... Had LawOfBizOrg and PropLaw on Tuesday. 2 freaking substantive law papers in one day. NAIS.

Then had Comprehension & Language Studies a.k.a. CLS presentation on Wednesday. Stayed up till 5am doing up the slides and my part. Was contemplating not sleeping at all; just stay up playing Halo3, GearsOfWar2, ResidentEvil5, or NeedForSpeedShift. So long never play...

...but decided to sleep and wake up at 645am in time to bathe and have a slow breakfast and be in school for FArking FinancialAccounting at 830am for the FArking quiz...

...and woke up at 805am. Didn't recall hearing the alarm, just like how we overslept on all 3 days of Law Camp - too tired until sleep like pig cannot hear alarm.

Asked for a very big favour today and I will never forget that.

Anyway, Hell Week 2 was Hell because of all sorts of random shit popping up. Read until eyeballs damn painful. My Macbook screen is at its dimmest, my iPhone screen also very dim. At the slightest view of an intense light source, my eyes will hurt...

...and dammit I had to be a wiseass and up my screen brightness just by 3 notches and my eyeballs already hurt!

Gosh I fucking hate FA. I need FA tuition.

Seriously..

2009-10-14T00:47:00.001+08:00

WTF is happening...

Wow, week, 9 already.

Dehydration + Painful Eyeballs + Post exams

2009-10-07T22:50:00.001+08:00

Today, I drank:

4 glasses of apple juice
≈10 glasses of cold water
3 glasses of milk
1 can of pepsi

...and I'm still feeling parched. Since 2 weeks ago.

At the same time, I've been visiting the toilet every hour.

Hey, I've been contributing to the quantity of potable water in Singapore!

Think about it. Singapore imports drinks from overseas -> I drink them -> I pee -> My pee goes into the Newater sewage treatment plant -> When you're thirsty, you drink water.

By extension, you drink my pee.

Of course I also drink your pee. But I pee more than you, so you drink much more of my pee.

Take that, Ah Seng!

Thirsty, anyone?

============

Also, my eyeballs hurt. Maybe I've been staring at the computer screen for too long. Maybe finally, just finally, I've actually started mugging hard enough.

Been feeling this since last week.

Decided to take a break from mugging. But I can't run away from staring at the computer screen!

Right now, I'm taking a break from studying. But there is nothing in my apartment that will take my eyes off something strenuous to the eyes.

My xbox360 is just sitting there in the living room. I can play it, but eye pain.

My Macbook, which is the awesome thing I'm currently using, is straining my eyeballz. But I wanna watch TV series and blog, so hell my eyes are hurting right now. Dimmed the screen to the least brightest. Still painful.

Read book, also painful.

So suck thumb lor. But nehmind, blogging and talking cock is fun. So tahan.

=======
Looking forward to post exams.

Eat freaking unhealthy burger.

Freaking unhealthy fish & chips
...and unburnt pizza

Inglourious Week

2009-10-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

Part I: Inglourious Basterds

Watched Inglourious Basterds. BOOMZ!!!

The gore. The blood. The wit.

This movie is not for the faint-hearted. It's not a movie for Brad Pitt fans. It's not an 'action' movie per se.

It's a very unorthodox movie ala Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2. Loved those 2 shows too.

The focus of the movie isn't about the Inglourious Basterds. The plot is damn lame. But the dialogue is awesome.

The star of the show isn't Brad Pitt. It's the German dude Corporal Hans.

My favourite part of the show:

Brad Pitt: If you ever wanna eat a sour Kraut sandwich again, take your wiener schnit finger and point out on this map and I wanna know.

German officer: I respectfully refuse.

Brad Pitt: This German wants to die for country. OBLIGE HIM.

[Bear Jew walks out of the dungeon with his baseball bat]

1... 2... 3... SWING!!!

KA-THUNK

[Sweat and dust sprays off the head of the German soldier. Falls to ground. Bear Jew continues batting the incapacitated German. Blood, flesh, and bone chunks splash around with the subsequent blows]

BOOMZ AWESOME!!!

Anyway, I think the Nazi General's uniform is damn cool.

DISCLAIMER: In no way am I declaring my allegiance to any political organisation, past or present. I am merely appreciating the aesthetic value of a military outfit.

Part II: Midterms

Time flies too damned freaking fast. It's now Week 8 and it's the mid term STUDY WEEK.

Part III: The Assumption Song

Part IV:
Videogames

This season is an amazing one for videogames.

Call of Duty: Modern Combat 2. Holy shit, Washington DC is under attack! BOOMZ!

And here's a parody of the biggest videogame release this period.

[Turn up the volume and listen closely to the narration]

BOOMZ!

2009-09-28T16:26:00.000+08:00

Last weekend was BOOMZ.

BOOMZ after BOOMZ. A lot of GGXX also.

Went to see millions of dollars worth of technology go round and round in circles making a lot of noise. Sounds like BOOMZ.

Next year we'll get a room at Swissotel and watch the BOOMZ with 4 wheels BOOMZING around Singapore City from a BOOMZ view. BOOMZZZ!!!

SMU Jump. BOOMZ!
View from the Singapore Flyer. BOOMZ!
This is such a postcard photo. BOOMZ!
My current wallpaper. BOOMZ!
Two cars racing each other. BOOMZ BOOMZ!
Anyway, one morning I woke up and saw this skyline from my window. Damn weird... BOOMZ!
View of Singapore City was BOOMZ!
I finally got my white Macbook back... BOOMZ!
My Snow Leopard is working perfectly fine now. But one thing I hate about it is that the Exposé is actually quite choppy. The animation ain't as smooth as Leopard.

Now when I press F3, it's like BOO-OO---O-O-O-OMZZZ. Very choppy graphics.

Last time was BOOMZ! so smoothly.

What's my fascination with BOOMZ? Dunno leh...

Anyway, Anne came down to Singapore. At my place, she was amazed at the rubbish chute thingy. She was so amazed she just wanted to throw stuff down.

So I got some rubbish, tied it in the plastic bag, and let her throw it down. We opened the chute and chucked it down, and heard BOOMZ!

Shit random.

We then searched YouTube for Mat Rempit videos coz Anne said Ma was watching some Mat Rempit videos and was laughing like crazy.

This one better.

BOOMZ!!!

Rotten Apples

2009-09-23T09:58:00.000+08:00

Recently, I had a windfall. The wind blew the apple tree so strongly that 3 apples fell in a week.

Snow Leopard ate the Apple
While installing Snow Leopard on DVD, somehow the installation crashed, leaving my Macbook with no brain. The icon above is what is shown when I turn on my Macbook. Sent it to the Apple Service Centre for repairs. Luckily they could recover my music, photos, and documents.

Insomniac Apple
In the absence of my white Macbook, I had to borrow someone else's laptop for work. I borrowed my friend's silver Macbook. All looked good until one day I was going out and tried to shut down the computer (I don't usually shut down my Macbook). After shutting it down, it came right back up. It CANNOT be shut down. It also CANNOT be put to sleep.

It's like an annoying hyperactive child who cannot be put to bed. Have to make him stay awake the whole day until he is completely exhausted - likewise I need to leave the Macbook on for a few hours until the battery runs flat.

I need to do this otherwise on my journey to school, when it keeps restarting and shutting down and restarting on its own, it will overheat the Macbook like crazy, especially being covered by my thick laptop cover. So hot can cook egg liao...

iPhail
During a quiz, I had to use the calculator to count some big figures. I used my iPhone's calculator and while in the middle of keying in some numbers, my iPhone just turned off.

I was like HUH?!

Tried turning it on but the On/Off button did not respond. Plugged it into iTunes but it did not detect the iPhone. Had to perform a hard reset. Luckily all my songs, applications, and contact is still safe.

==========
Lesson learnt:
If Apple products FAIL, all the more you shouldn't get a PC because PC WILL FAIL MORE

MUAHAHAHA

COCKY APPLE CHAUVINIST

Delusion

2009-09-22T01:36:00.000+08:00

[OMITTED]

Anyway, this song Under Pressure is amazing.

I love the ending. The buildup to the climax is amazing!!!

Gosh we need more of these songs.

I miss you, Macbook

2009-09-18T01:58:00.000+08:00

I never knew I could miss my Macbook so badly...

Was installing Snow Leopard from DVD and halfway through the installation, the disc drive somehow couldn't read the DVD. I suspect that the disc drive cocked up.

The problem is that while installing the new OS, the computer will delete the previous OS and all stuff in my hard disk (I think). So when the installation hung midway and I tried restarting my Macbook, it restarted to an empty hard disk with no OS.

To put it in a more layman term, I think my Macbook doesn't have a brain now.

Sent it to Apple for repair. Will get it back next Wednesday. In the meanwhile, I'm borrowing my friend's extra Macbook. I hope that my Time Machine function works and all my files backed up on my external hard disk is recoverable.

While configuring his Macbook to fit my use, I realised that I really missed my white second generation Macbook.

All the settings.

Music.

Photos.

Notes.

Programs.

In the meanwhile, I've been trying to use my iPhone to check my school email and Facebook. Can't MSN on my iPhone coz it's akin to rapid SMSing which can get very annoying.

In school I had to borrow my friends' laptop to print, refer to cases, play Bloons, check school email, etc.

Damn, I can't believe I miss my Macbook so badly... It has only been 2 days.

To my fellow Mac users:
(1) Invest in a good external HD to back up your files using the Time Machine function
(2) Don't mistreat your Macbook

To PC users:
(1) Don't you laugh at me. The faulty disk drive problem is something that your PC is also vulnerable to.
(2) Switch to a Mac

I wanted to upload a photo of my white 2nd generation Macbook but I realised I AM NOT USING MY MACBOOK SO I DON'T HAVE ANY PHOTOS TO UPLOAD.

Sigh...

YAP for PAUL

2009-09-13T00:54:00.001+08:00

I've been determined to contribute to the law school in any way possible since entering the SMU School of Law. I have contributed in many ways - formally and informally.

Formally, I joined the subcommittees of the various Lawsoc events. I joined the Subcomm for Law Day 2008, and again for Law Day 2009. I took up the role of the Stage Manager for the Law Play 2009. I helped out in the R&T Inter-Collegiate Debates. Recently, I held the portfolio of the Programmes IC for the SMU Law Camp 2009 - OUTLAW. Together with my trusted friends, we made OUTLAW a great success.

Informally, in my first year, my friends and I organised several random events, inviting anyone and everyone in Law School to join us. This reflects my desire to have fun and to create a friendly environment for everyone in the SMU School of Law.

That said, if I can organise random events on our own to cater to our friends, why then would I want to run for a position in the MC?

The position that I am very keen to hold is that of the Administrative Director. My main objective is to propagate the tradition of Documentation & Archiving for the subsequent batches of the MC. Yes, it is largely for the intrinsic benefit for the MC, but through this, it makes planning much easier for the future batches.

Having been involved in many school activities since secondary school, I saw the importance and necessity of maintaining a structured and simple administrative system. From doing one of the most 'saikang' and administrative duties the the RJC 26th Students' Council, I believe I have the determination, know-how, and meticulousness in paperwork.

I am proud to declare that I have a weird sense of fetish for using Microsoft Word.

I aspire to enlarge the role of the Secretariat to not only cover the MC, but to permeate the subcomms and subclubs. Not only will this tradition of documentation and archiving serve the future batches of LawSoc, it will also be a helpful tool for persons taking up the role of the Secretariat in the various activities.

Besides the role of the Administrative Director in itself, I will lend my support to the other Directors - to help them with their portfolio, and to be there as a friend. As a MC member, I hope to also be a representative of the School of Law, someone that my friends can approach to voice out their concerns to make the the SMU School of Law a better place to live, study, and play!

Vote for me. I am confident that I can live up to everyone's expectations.

Do join the Facebook Group YAP for PAUL.

Thanks!!!

Face it + training to be a Singaporean

2009-09-01T01:06:00.001+08:00

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a shitty situation.

The more we think about it, the more we think it's pointless. Why bother trying if we know it's not going to work. It's a painful and scary thought. It's easier to just shove it aside and move on with our daily lives...

...nonetheless, we must think about it, otherwise it will only prolong the problem. Rectify it before it gets any shittier.

Facing it head on is only an eventuality.

In the meanwhile, it's better to start thinking of all the pros and cons before THAT day comes and we're caught unprepared.

Patience is a virtue, but inaction is not. Unfortunately, some things depend on various external factors beyond our control that even the best plans are subject to wait.

On a lighter note, I've been training to be a Singaporean.

I don't know what relevance this photo has to this post, but I really like it. Raffles Place under the grey gloomy dull sky.

Parents drove down from KL over the weekend. Took the car to send friends back at night, go visit friend in the end of the island, and give lift to town. Learned the weird road system in Singapore where cars can inch out in anticipation of turning at a big junction.

It's my 4th time driving in Singapore.

Also, had a lot of practice for reverse parking. In KL, the driving test didn't require us to reverse park at all!

Went for the Financial Planning talk in school. It was an eye opener. The main message of the talk, to put it crudely, was 'Life seriously sucks, so start being thrifty'.

Better be smart so won't suck thumb when grow old and no money.

I think I will have to put aside the Bentley Plans indefinitely...

Oh look, it's a $2,000 coaster! + 1 year on

2009-08-29T01:46:00.000+08:00

This little pig went to the market.
This little pig stayed at home.
This little pig went to Funan to buy a laptop.
While this little pig went to Funan to buy a $2,000 coaster with a white apple lighting on it.

Anyway, Week 2 of the Second Semester of the Second Year of Law School has ended. Time flies too damned fast.

The 4-month-long summer break flew by in a flash. Feels like the summer break never came.

One moment I'm stoning in hostel, next I'm back in KL, next I'm in school doing Law Camp stuff, next I'm walking under the scorching sun for Dry Runs, next I'm freezing at the top of the mountain, next I'm losing my temper at the slightest things, next I see our plans come to fruition, next I feel like I wasted $850 on a forum that could be better achieved in our JC GP lessons, next I'm trying to settle down in a new home...

...and then I'm back in the all-too familiar corridors of the SchoolOfLaw.

Sick.

And next are 2 presentations in a week. Another law event. Mid terms. More presentations. And more exams.

2 more summers until I start applying for a job.

Lotsa times I find myself asking what am I doing here, what do I want, why am I in this state, how do I get there, and who do I wanna be.

How do we know what we want? I guess I'm just stuck in this state... Just make the best out of it.

Nehmind, ONLY 45 YEARS MORE TO RETIREMENT!!!

On a random note, I wanna be a Basterd...

HELL YEAH!

Visit North Korea!

2009-08-22T00:43:00.000+08:00

Let's visit North Korea!!!

The video was probably made using Windows Movie Maker... (Take that, Tessa!)

BSM should have a trip there. Perhaps ALSA too... Let's embrace our belligerent friends to the north.

Visit their national website here.

UP

2009-08-19T13:08:00.000+08:00

EMO MOVIE

When watching this movie, push aside the childish entertainment and lame humour, and read the underlying message behind this movie.

It's not about an old man taking care of a fat kid and going on an adventure. It's about moving on with life.

From the part when the Retirement Home people came to pick the Old Man up from his house and when the Old Man unleashed the millions of balloons to fly UP into the sky, I immediately thought that this movie was going to be about escapism.

Escapism from his lonely and depressing life after his dearest wife Ellie passed away due to old age.

It was indeed a very sweet scene to see their love grow from childhood. It was so touching to see how affectionate they are. But it was heart-wrenching to see that she could not bear children, and she passed away, inevitably leaving him alone...

A man who could love his wife so damned much could not have possibly just continued with life so easily. This is why when he was caught in the thunderstorm, miraculously surviving it and ending up in South America, I couldn't help but to believe that he was probably fantasizing the entire adventure.

All that he was perceiving would've been a figment of his imagination due to the strong desire to live at that Whatever Waterfall with his wife for the remainder of his life. The creatures and people that he met there were so random that I thought 'Hell, this could not be real!'. Muntz the Adventurer was just his childhood idol, while The Fat Kid could've been his Alter Ego; his childhood obsession to be a young adventurer.

I was expecting that the ending would show that he was in the Retirement Home, sitting by the window ledge in a small room clutching the photo frame of his wife Ellie.

I guess this is one possible ending for the mature version of this movie... But for the sake of entertaining kids, the movie must have a happy ending. So, oh well, just show the Old Man eating ice cream with the Fat Kid below the Hot Air Balloon. What a happy ending...

This reminds me of the rumoured endings of the Doraemon series. One of them were, as taken from the ever-reliable Wikipedia:

"The second, more pessimistic ending suggests that Nobita Nobi is suffering from autism and that all the characters (including Doraemon) are simply his delusion. The idea that Nobita was a sick and dying little boy who imagined the entire series on his sickbed to help him ease his pain and depression no doubt angered quite a lot of fans. Many Japanese fans staged a protest outside the headquarters of the publisher of the series after learning about this suggestion. The publisher had to issue a public statement that this is not true. (This ending actually correlates to the ending for the series St. Elsewhere, which ended in 1988.)"

Is was possible that the Old Man imagined every single thing because he fell into a depression from bereavement. Not being able to bear the loss of his wife, his mind fell into a state of delusion, where his childhood memories were manifested, and his love for his deceased wife spurred him to rest his house at the Whatever Waterfalls.

Sad, ain't it.

Photos

2009-08-15T01:48:00.000+08:00

Went for the ALSA Forum in The Philippines.
Darn, the NUS lawyers can do the SMU jump better than the SMU lawyers!!!

Here's the Singapore delegation at the Supreme Court.

Me sleeping at the Retro Night.
Lucas sleeping in the plane.
Me in the plane.
Liz.
Me in some pub.
Esther and Lisa on the way to the pub.

David IN THE MUSEUM.
One of the Singapore delegates whom I shall not name during a forum discussion.
Lisa while reading Constitutional Law. Quoting Lisa, "Consti book is a very bad pillow".
The forum wasn't that great... Didn't gain much new insights. Everything that was discussed was already achieved in my GP lessons back in RJC. I guess the best thing I gained from the forum is getting to meet law students from other Asian jurisdictions...

...and realised that I am from a country with a (relatively) very boring cultural background! While Korea, Japan, Indonesia, and Thailand performed their traditional dances, Singapore could only come up with The Merger & Separation. Hong Kong had their classic karaoke, while the Malaysians performed something which at least had semblance to their diverse culture.

Was thinking that Singapore is culturally damn boring liao... Then again, MALAYSIA ALSO DAMN BORING!!!

Aiyah these two countries so similar... should just merge lah... to become The Empire of Singapore.

NEGARAKU SINGAPURA!!!

Happy dunno how old, Singapore!!!
...I've always thought that the Singapore CBD is weird coz there's a hugeass Malaysian bank tower there. So prominent in the Singapore landscape.

Moved to my new hostel.
Met up with JC friends. From left: Nanett the CatholicSister, Adnaan the BanglaPolice, HuiLin the MaybankSkolar, and me.
Went night cycling with my fellow learned friends. Dammit I FAIL. After supper at Simpang Bedok, I fell asleep at the table. Then cycled back to Bedok Jetty, where I fell asleep on the benches. The sleeping schedule at the forum is messing with me. Haven't had a good sleep since the trip. It's been a week already... Everyday sleep for 5-6 hours only, compared to my usual 9 hours.
Didn't see much interesting stuff. I think the best thing we saw was this cat sleeping in the middle of the pavement.
The new academic year starts in 3 days... Wow, time flies too damned fast.

Test your awareness

2009-07-30T23:02:00.000+08:00

Watch this video.

Now here's another test.

Read the paragraph below OUT LOUD:

Awareness is a relative concept. An animal may be partially aware, may be subconsciously aware, or may be acutely aware of an event. Awareness may be focused on an internal state, such as a visceral feeling, or on external events by way of sensory perception. Awareness provides the raw material from which animals develop qualia, or subjective ideas about their experience.

Now, in that time you were reading,

Did you realise that there was a little girl in red staring at you from under your desk?

...

Direction of the blog

2009-07-29T14:33:00.000+08:00

I have no idea what direction I am taking with this blog.

I don't like to talk about serious current affairs stuff coz (1) there is so much research to do before I can compose an article, (2) discussing them with friends is more engaging as opposed to a monologue on the blog, (3) lazy to write damn long.

I don't like to talk about personal life coz (1) can just talk to friends about it, (2) why do I need to let bystanders read such things, (3) lazy to write damn long.

I don't like to talk about what happens in my day coz (1) it's damn lame to let your friends know about your life through a blog, (2) dunno... (3) lazy to write damn long.

I don't like to write my frank honest opinions about a lot of things because (1) you never know who reads your blog, (2) it can be plain cold, mean, and insensitive, (3) so funny meh...

So now, I really don't know what my blog is for. But I also dunno why I wanna keep it.

=========
On a random note, I've always wondered how do Arab girls take class photos...

How do they identify each other? Nametags?

How do the husbands identify their wives?

Ahh maybe this is what my blog is for. Talking random cock.

Supersize the Big Eagle

2009-07-26T11:35:00.001+08:00

First thing when I got home, my mum hugged me and said "You're so fat!!!"

Well, blame it on the McDonalds, KFC, and MOS in the past few weeks.

Not feeling well now coz of Fast Food Poisoning like that guy in Supersize Me. Initially thought it was H1N1 symptoms coz my seniors were suspected and I was in close proximity with them. Went to Tan Tock Seng to check, but they said it's probably just normal flu (and charged me $85 for paracetamol, cough mixture, and rehydrating salts).

Now got no flu and fever, but my joints ache like ass. Can't sleep properly. Puked foam in the morning. Having all sorts of weird dreams.

Moral of the story: DON'T EAT FAST FOOD SO FREQUENTLY.

Alternatively, EXERCISE MORE.

Also, LEARN HOW TO SAY NO.

On a seperate note, Law Camp is over!!! Well, for everything, there will be mixed reviews, unfounded ranting and complaints. Whatever it is, I'm glad the Org Comm pulled through together!

3 more weeks until Year 2 starts... Dang I haven't bought my books yet!

Bring it on!

2009-07-19T09:57:00.001+08:00

Finally... Day 0.

Never felt as scared as this shit in my life... But heck, it has to happen anyway.

I hope all these months' preparation does not go to waste...

SMULawCamp-OUTLAW2009FTW!!!

Tortoise v Dinosaur

2009-07-18T09:07:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a tortoise and a dinosaur.
The dinosaur is known to be very violent. He loves to terrorize the city for fun.
One day, they decided to race. Coz they were bored...
So they ran.

The dinosaur was very fast.

...but he was complacent so he decided to take a nap. After a few hours, the tortoise caught up with the dinosaur. After the slow and tiring crawl, the tortoise was very hungry.
So he ate the dinosaur.
Clean to the bone.
And since the dinosaur was no more, he crawled all the way to the finishing line.
...and won the trophy!
Because he ate the entire dinosaur, he grew fat.
Then one day, he found a new friend.
And they became BFF.

The End.

Champion + pathetic_hostel@evans.com

2009-07-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

felly says:
how do you download all the apps and games on the ipod touch ah?
hahaa mine just came today!
:]

I say:
u need an iTunes account
need credit card

felly says:
i have an apple account already

[BLABLA]

anywya, for the apps

I say:
go to iTunes store
search for Apps

felly says:
so how do i get the apps stuff
how do i get the itunes account
it says that itunes is not supported in my country

I say:
u set your country to Singapore
confirm can
look ard
i help u look
k go to iTunes store
scroll to the bottom
you will see My Store
and choose Singapore lor

[BLABLA]

felly says:
when i try to download apps, it says to connect to itune

I say:
so u can't even go into iTunes store?
is ur iTouch synced to ur Mac?

felly says:
yupps
but not connected
my mac i can access i tunes

I say:
IS UR WIRELESS TURNED ON

felly says:
yes
actually let me double check
yes it is

[BLABLA]

felly says:
hmmm gahh
okies

I say:
patience is a virtue

felly says:
now it says i gotta pay for the update?

[BLABLA]

felly says:
ok it says a new ipod software is available for PURCHASE
version 3.0

I say:
hmph..... orh........
OH....
OKAY
well, iPhone is free update!!!!!!!!!

felly says:
gahh
but that doesn't make sense
i should still be able to do this regardless

I say:
yeah i know u must feel damn pissed since u just got ur iTouch
and first thing at night they ask u to pay for update

[BLABLA]

felly says:
HAHAHAA
YOU'RE GOING TO LAUGH AT ME

I say:
deep down inside i knew it was gonna be some n00b mistake
what is it

felly says:
hehs
i didn't sign up for an itunes account

==========
LawCamp officially starts on Sunday.. Actually, it started a few months ago for some of us.

These few weeks were freaking hectic.

Even after LawCamp, it'll be hectic.

Happy Time a bit, then go back to KL, then come back in a few days to shift hostel AGAIN, then go Philippines...

...and that leaves me one week left before school.

Shucks I haven't bought books yet...

On a side note, I hate this hostel.

pathetic_hostel@evans.com

At least I have neighbour_with_car@Margoliouth.com

Everyday go for morning_walk@15minutes.com